Love and relationships

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-Cho
Not entirely sure what to write about here so I guess I'll just go with right now. I do kinda want to say first though that a lot of people here have experiences with LDRs and that's what I'm writing about as well, I'd really advise to anyone thinking about it if you can avoid falling for someone long distance before it's too late, do it.

A couple of years ago I was really into competitive team fortress 2 and an online friend introduced me to this girl he knew from an mmo he used to play by asking me to play on omgpop (rip) around August-October 2011 (http://puu.sh/58TXu.png) with the two of them (I found out since we both had a one-way crush on him at the time), we didn't talk much but I enjoyed it most of the time when we did. I had a bit of a crush on her to begin with but since we were barely talking it just kind of went away until a few months ago when we were talking one night and she said something about liking me a bit for a while and me just being clueless (Obviously, this was genuine cluelessness on my part) so I told her I liked her and cue a lot of things I don't want to think about much less write about.

After a really... abysmal month... in all honesty, that would have made most people just forget about it, we awkwardly got together. Definitely learned a lot more about each other after that than we knew before it, still do learn things since it hasn't been that long. Things aren't always perfect obviously but thankfully everything is turning out alright so far. Living 400+ miles away means we don't get to see each other very often but I look forward to seeing her again every day we aren't together and completely enjoy every minute we are. Little bit surprised she hasn't got sick of me making sure I tell her how much I love her at least twice a day, which I do a lot. Found out that learning Cantonese would impress her mother if I ever wanted to marry her so hey, guess what language I've decided to start seriously learning. Being on Skype almost 24/7 is something we started recently and talking to her so much has definitely been making me a much happier person lately, yay technology for allowing that to happen. And now of course both being addicted to osu! and having that to play together.

Lots of other little things like that I suppose, overall I just want to say that LDRs don't always have to be two people struggling through it. It doesn't really feel like a struggle to me right now, just that that's how the relationship is right now. (Hopefully won't be all it ever is of course.)
maal

Nyquill wrote:

I'd say most of my chances flew out the window due to lack of self confidence, haha.
youre 18 man

most of your chances havent even come yet


keep your chin up and be as positive as you can be, youll win one day
tyrael6192
i'm in love with a

a very beautiful someone

we live so far from each other and sometimes i really wonder whether it's a lost cause

whether all these emotions will really count for anything

or whether it will just... dissolve as time passes, leaving my one-sided expectations to slowly destroy me from the inside

because no matter how hard I try... maal just won't love me back
Vish024
Hey maal would never betray me.
maal
ohhhhh boy
Primula
I was in love with someone I thought I'd spend the rest of my life with.
It was long distance but I really wanted to make it work, the first year was great.

We were together for 2 years, but broke up a couple days ago - Not even sure why, I'm assuming she's seeing someone else because she's preferring to be on Skype call with this other guy more often lately and she's just been so full of excuses and lies throughout this year, also she forgot my birthday and tried to cover that up with terrible excuses too. ;--;

Finding someone with similar interests to me, and someone I can be comfortable around is so difficult. Q^Q
GladiOol

maal wrote:

ohhhhh boy
when will you tell him about us?
Kanye West

tyrael6192 wrote:

i'm in love with a

a very beautiful someone

we live so far from each other and sometimes i really wonder whether it's a lost cause

whether all these emotions will really count for anything

or whether it will just... dissolve as time passes, leaving my one-sided expectations to slowly destroy me from the inside

because no matter how hard I try... maal just won't love me back
that was so beautiful i'm in tears

tyrael wins, gladi and volpe gtfo
Shimy

CDFA wrote:

Haha my roommate broke up with his girlfriend a few days ago so the topic of love and shit is actually in my head for once.

I never really liked anybody until second semester of my junior year of high school. I had some people who I was like "If they asked then I'd say yes", and I could have made some cute stories with some people. But the first person I loved was a girl named Nicole who was in band with me, and sat next to me in Freshman Biology, Sophomore Wind Ensemble, Junior Jazz II (Where I was a TA and she was a pianist), and Senior Physics, until she had to be homeschooled due to a severe thyroid infection. I don't know how it happened, it just sort of sparked up. Anyways, I spent a good 7-8 months being completely extacic about her, always wanting to do things with her, and getting closer with her. People told me I was doing too much, but I was so devoted I didn't even care. I spent so much money on her, and I did so much for her. I asked her out in September of my Senior year. She said no. It wasn't awkward at all, we still were good friends and hung out a lot and stuff. During my infatuation with Nicole, I met a girl online named Victoria. We met over a MLP Roleplaying Group, as we were the two admins of said group when it was created. I talked with her often about Nicole, my frustrations and my successes. We became close friends very fast. Victoria even became friends with Nicole. It was fun stuff. Anyways, after I asked Nicole out, I vented to Victoria about it. A few days passed and she pretty much was like "Don't worry Brian, there's someone out there that loves you". She said it in a way that concerned me, and in late september, I asked her if she was trying to ask me out. She said yes. I remember during 5th period english when I got that text, my heart just skipping a beat, as someone finally loved me. I cared about her. Not as much as Nicole, but I still was dedicated. The relationship became official on October 3rd, 2013. Things went pretty decent for a while, but she always tended to get really emotional and stuff. Which I did too, so it was ok. She was also really slutty. She pretty much was the girl that sucked everyone's dick at her school. As far as I knew, she was a virgin. That was totally fine with me, as she let me express my sexual desires, and shared many of the same fetishes that I did. I was so happy that I could finally let so many things out with someone that I intended to have such a huge future with.

Things got weird really fast. She told me she had a form of Multiple Personality Disorder that only appeared when she fell asleep. She also would always talk to her ex boyfriend a lot, and he would spam her wall with love notes and everything. She'd talk about how she was failing basic college prep classes, even though she was an AP student the previous year, and she would always freak out about not having a purpose in life, yet never take my suggestions on how to make things better. She had a weird obsession with keeping her vagina as tight as possible and was mad at me because I never asked her for nudes ever. Later in the relationship, she admitted that she was not a virgin, as she had sex with her ex-boyfriend during our relationship. I trudged through it though, because that's who I am. I trudge through no matter what. So yeah struggles woo woo. We did meet up in person like in November, and things went nicely. She was nervous as hell but I did my best to make things as good as possible. She met my mom, and I met her mom, and things were cool. She told me straight up that she "knew from the second she saw me in person that I was the one"

December 26th, 2012 comes up. I'm texting her about Christmas, and I make the mistake of asking her why she's not very responsive while we text. She asked me that so often when I don't text, and I immediately fix it. However, I guess when it goes on her it flips her shit. So she got really emotional and broke up with me through text while I was still laying in bed. The last thing I ever asked her as her boyfriend was how her little brother liked her WiiU. She never responded. I didn't really give a shit. Like, I was sad, but I didn't cry or anything. It didn't hit me for a while, but when it did, I was completely over it. She tried talking to me so much, but in the end, we haven't spoken at all in a conversation since March. She is a part of a pornography group I'm in, and I'm forced to like say things to her a few times (Such as "Don't post this weird shit what the fuck")

So sometimes afterwards, in like, Feburary, I'm talking to Nicole. I still have feelings for her, but I know that it won't happen. We're still great friends, I make an effort to talk to her as much as possible. She tells me that she might have to be homeschooled, because her thyroid infection is getting worse. It was already bad enough, to where she had to quit band her junior year (And she was a prodigy trumpet player, being one of the only freshmen along with me and a few other people to make wind ensemble in our first year), and she couldn't eat solid food. The last time I saw her was March, I think. She was always bad at responding to text messages. I tried texting her, but she'd never respond. So I thought of something. . . If I don't text her, will she text me back, ever? I haven't heard from her in such a long time. She deleted her Facebook, removed me from her Skype contacts, and won't respond to any of my texts. I have no knowledge if she even exists anymore. I don't know what happened to her. How is she doing? Where is she going to college? Is she. . . alive?

I've never missed a person like I missed Nicole. I grew to not love her so deeply in the final months of my knowledge of her. I saw that some of my original reasons for liking her turned out to be misconceptions. I saw so many things that would have bothered me in terms of a relationship. But I still could relate to no person closer than her. Maybe Victoria, since I could talk about more fetish stuff with her, but it felt more special with Nicole.

I want her back in my life. I don't care if it's as a friend, as a lover, or just as that person I text when I'm REALLY lonely. I'm scared for her. I haven't heard or seen her in such a long time. Her mom never uses her Facebook, and her brother is too busy finishing his UG at Berkley School of Music, and it'd be weird if I messaged him to ask where Nicole was.

I've tried falling in love after this. I honestly put in an effort. But every time, I would drop the thoughts after a few days, with no approaches at all. It just wasn't the same. Love is something completely dead to me. As an outcast of my university, where my words that got me praised and loved in high school make me the person to avoid in college, I know love isn't going to happen.

If I had one dream, it would be to see Nicole again. Or to at least have her text me back. She means so much to me, even as just a friend. I have so many memories with her, and I want it all back. I was so happy during that time. I'm happy now, because I have intensive instrumental study as my solace, but there's still that hole in my heart that will never be replaced.

haha holy shit am I actually posting on the forums
get her back man :(
Sayuki Fujimi
Interresting but that's not everyone who's in a relationship.
Rorona
I'll just leave a link here to something I added to my tumblr just now.

My English might be really broken.

hopefully I don't regret this (also bringing this topic back might be a good thing)
psKirika

Rorona wrote:

I'll just leave a link here to something I added to my tumblr just now.

My English might be really broken.

hopefully I don't regret this (also bringing this topic back might be a good thing)
Good read. I'm not a love god of any sorts, and I don't even know a decimal of context of your relationship with that person so I can't really give you a good answer. But, I guess I can give you an opinion. Love hurts. In any direction. You just have to chose which road will hurt the least. Be a chicken and keep a friendzoned relationship? Or confess your love?

In any case, as you said, making yourself exist for that person is a good start. Hang out, blablabla do stuff with him/her. GL.
Topic Starter
Birdy
Friendship over relationship. Things tend to go downhill after starting an official relationship. Just stay close to them, don't make it too big of a deal if you don't have to.
GeeNX
I'm okay with being a single now but I wonder if I will regret later not looking for a girlfriend nowadays
-[ Dumpling ]-
I think you guys are all lucky to have experienced what it is like to be in a relationship. For teens in Asian families it is much harder to enter one, let alone sustain a healthy one.

Don't get me wrong, I'm proud of the fact that I am Chinese and can speak three languages (two and one dialect if you're really going to be sharp about it). However, I believe that a downside to being a kid in an Asian family is their views on dating and relationships. For those who may not understand, basically one is not allowed to get a boy/girlfriend (in my case, girlfriend) while they are in secondary school, because they have to put all effort towards being #1 in the state when the graduate. Even in university, we still can't find a boy/girlfriend because we have to focus on graduating. Then after we have done that and entered a ridiculous profession (yes, that's where the "docterrr/rawyer" thing comes in) we have to *instantly* find a spouse. How do you successfully find a spouse when you have had no prior experience in doing so? That's like asking a freshly apprenticed carpenter to perfectly construct a wooden building without any assistance whatsoever. Or like a level 1 osu! player trying to FC Big Black.

Of course there are also some exceptions (it does depend on the parents, I know someone at my school who's probably had 999,999 boyfriends now, I won't describe any more here because they sometimes play osu! as well and I don't know whether they would lurk around in the forums).

That kind of attitude from our parents means that by the time we are 25 and "meant to be" looking for that special someone, it becomes quite hard to do so. And then most end up being 40 year old virgins.

I know that I am only 16, and even by Western standards that is probably too young to have a partner. I do accept the fact that relationships with people my age often never go beyond secondary school. So if you meet someone that you like? Lol, friendzoned forever. (I know that has happened to me before, how I liked someone romantically but had to stay where I was, again I won't talk about it much here for fear of reprisals at school, in case anyone I know is here). Even if you do start something serious with them eventually your parents will find out (you can lie of course, but that brings along a host of problems on its own), and they will start making complete bullshit threats such as disowning you, kicking you out of the house (and making you move to your partner's house, which would indeed be strange at my age regardless of your gender) or starving you, blah blah blah.

However, I'm confident that whenever I get the chance, I will meet someone who I like and who truly likes me (instead of some random who marries you for $$$ and face in the family). Someone who can be with me when I am feeling lonely, and who I can be with when they feel lonely.

For now, study and back to hitting keys on the keyboard to the sound of music...
GeeNX
Be Romeo, np
Flanster
I love her but she doesn't want to be in a relationship. Her reasons are understandable and i agree to them but..
I don't even know what to feel. I'm just talking random crap just so I can atleast talk to her, thats the most I can get out of all this.
I try so hard not to bring up anything love related so it doesn't cause problems. I don't really know what to do...
Life. ha. ha.

No matter what good things happen, they're just covered up by this and I can only feel happy for a slight time.
This isn't a way to live.. I can't move on that easily..
- Marco -

GeeNX wrote:

I'm okay with being a single now but I wonder if I will regret later not looking for a girlfriend nowadays
pls take all my star (oh it's not a map)
DaddyCoolVipper

LoliFlan wrote:

I can't move on that easily
It's very tough. The pain *will* go away eventually, though.
Luxie
all i know is im single and ready to eat pringles
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