Status: real nervous for Takeuchi. MissingNo. is an excellent contestant, and he has much support behind him. It's about a 60/40 split, judging from the comments on the battle video. Man, this is starting to get to me, hehe.
That already looks amazing, I can't wait to see the final result!
Achromalia wrote:i feel fucking terrible... heh. hah. fuck.
it's fairly difficult to describe, it's not really something i'd chalk up as depression, it's not self-hatred, it's like...
disappointment, but... not really.
disappointed that this is life. it's the most pointless thing to feel about life as it doesn't exactly change the parameters of life itself, but still.
i miss the past. i'm getting nostalgic, but it's not necessarily nostalgia.
it's a bit like... sonder. or... something.
it's knowing that i could've taken many choices to live many different lives, realizing that the choices i've already made have only led me here. it's not a new concept, but...
i miss her. i miss them. i miss middle school, and how fucking terrible it was. i miss my depressed and apathetic self.
i miss the level of imagination i had. i want to live all of these lives, see what others see, see things differently, do things differently and see what happens, see what i can change, what i can improve, what i can prevent or protect.
i miss the specific quantum states of which i would find myself in the past, even if i've never experienced it. i can only imagine it, and dream about it, but never really see it.
i want to play god, essentially, heh. i don't really care for destruction or anything extravagant, although i'd like to create some things and see how that plays out, but i really would like something like omniscience and omnipresence, and the ability to make quantum leaps in time states, to experience everything.
maybe i'd get bored.
as long as i don't mess anything up.
but i'd like to see these possibilities in my reality.
yet, here i am.
i don't know.
i don't even feel human, sometimes.
it's like i'm a disembodied entity housed in an inseparable physical form that i'm too distracted to care for.
that's technically a viable definition of a conscience or an ego, by the looks of it.
i just feel so detached. i feel so distant from everything, from everyone.
i remember just how lonely i am.
it's cold out here.
it's empty in here.
there's nothing in here, but me, and everything's out there. here, i'm looking outwards into everything that surrounds me, yet, i feel like i'm more like an observer, peering into a reality that i've yet to fully understand.
i think that's enough.
i'll probably just... lay here, or... something.
i don't know.
me, this reality, and the void.