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Awkward things you've said in public

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VoidnOwO
:oops:
South

silmarilen wrote:

some online community thought i was a girl, so when we finaly had an irl meet they were like so you're not actually a girl
and then i said not anymore
lol'd^
D33d
Today, when the MC for this festival was talking to my band, he had us as Gingerbread and the Style Pile instead of Gingersnap and the Style Pile. I said, "Who the fuck did that?"

Obviously, he had. Amusingly, he explained it and said "dysloxia" instead of "dyslexia," hopefully intentionally.
Ephemeral
u wot m8? dysloxia? erry 1 nos dat scouser emc hav thu lernin difecaltes
Oinari-sama
Was playing Texas Hold'em once and there was this asian lady heads up with an aussie bloke.

The guy all-in'ed on the turn and the asian lady asked him "what you have?" The guy answered: "I've go the nuts" - what an unimaginative answer!

Just as everyone turned their faces away in disappointment, the asian lady shouted: "You got nuts?! You don't have nuts! Show me your nuts! I want see your nuts!!"

A few people spilled their drinks when the guy reached down to his pants and pretend to "reveal the cards" like you see on TV and said: "Yep! I've still got them! :D"
Falapalagas
This morning I misheard what my friend had said and I asked him if he said pumpkin cum town.
Foxtrot
"I actually enjoy sex."

It wasn't awkward for me, though. Why shouldn't I enjoy it?
YunoFanatic
''Burn this suckers down''

i guess im on musically times
Yoeri
"No, I use my left hand for that."
Hika
"I'm a satanist."

That sounds logical. Not the most awkward but logical.
Apex_old
Who are you?

I said that sentence approximately 1000 times. Most of the time, I actually know who they are, but I do not have a clear grasp of that piece memory, I woke up in a separate personality/demeanour who hasn't met that person so I'm vague with that piece of memory, or either I'm too detached to the world, and therefore I will try to deny it.
Liiraye
yesterday I was out shopping with a friend and all of a sudden this really cute blonde pokes me and says HII Liiraye! while going for a surprise hug.

This was the first time of my life that I don't remember neither name nor face of someone. We began taking as bffs or something and my friend was like wut. The problem was that I couldn't introduce her to him because I didn't know her name!. So 2 stations later she got off the sub after hugging again, and I just leaned over to my friend and said: "who the hell was that?! I honestly have no fkn clue Lmao"

Without noticing that she was right outside the sub texting...
Kanye West

Liiraye wrote:

yesterday I was out shopping with a friend and all of a sudden this really cute blonde pokes me and says HII Liiraye! while going for a surprise hug.

This was the first time of my life that I don't remember neither name nor face of someone. We began taking as bffs or something and my friend was like wut. The problem was that I couldn't introduce her to him because I didn't know her name!. So 2 stations later she got off the sub after hugging again, and I just leaned over to my friend and said: "who the hell was that?! I honestly have no fkn clue Lmao"

Without noticing that she was right outside the sub texting...
Smooth.
Wojjan

Tuxdude143 wrote:

Aqo wrote:

biology class, teacher says semen has sugar in it

a girl asks then why is it not sweet
0_0
WHAT?!?!?! What did the teacher say?
"Because you taste sweet with your tongue, not the back of your throat."

it's an old joke.
Topic Starter
EZ2ACTux
Oh. Thank you Wojjan for pointing that out!
Da7shadow
:x
Falapalagas
"Once, I had saved it up for two weeks so like, before I went to sleep I just had to. What happened was it felt better than when I was doing it whenever I could and I ended up shooting it out onto my chest. I was so tired that I just couldn't even get up to wash it off so when I woke up the next morning, I had stains all over my chest hair."

"If you think virgin blood is a good lubricant for anal sex, you should try mixing it with your own blood."
Kemdo
>Sitting on the bus
>Some random girl started talking to me
>I responded and we talked for a moment
>I Was about to get off and she goes "See you later Matt"
>Didn't know who she was not even knowing her name or exchanging details
>I Simply responded "Who the fuck are you and how the hell do you know my name?"
>Then I walked off the bus and never saw that girl again o _ O
Foxtrot

Beserk wrote:

"If you think virgin blood is a good lubricant for anal sex, you should try mixing it with your own blood."
2 birds 1 stone
Liiraye
Just make sure you have the same bloodtype for Christ sake!

Kids these days aren't cautious enough...
TBTE

Ephemeral wrote:

u wot m8? dysloxia? erry 1 nos dat scouser emc hav thu lernin difecaltes
maneeeee i herd u waz in town againzzzzzz

anyway

"My name is Jon, one day my when i become a black master, I will end the white race and rule you all,

I won't be a kind leader either, Fuck the women and children, only the cockroaches will survive.

Oh Yeah, (embarrassing part here) I'm Bronze 5 in League.
Zeraph

TBTE wrote:

I'm Bronze 5
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
DaddyCoolVipper
I guess they don't call you Zeraphlol for nothing
mathexpert
lol
silmarilen

mathexpert wrote:

lol
yes thats a very awkward thing to say in public
Low
>in the bathroom one day
>i hear the gate to my yard close as if someone was coming in
>open the window in the bathroom and shout "HAYYYYYY" in the gayest voice ever, obviously thinking it was one of my family members
>it was my brother's friends
>awkwardly tell them that he's not home while using the bathroom

fuck
Cyclohexane

Zeraphlol wrote:

TBTE wrote:

I'm Bronze 5
hahahahahahahahahahaha I like breaking pages
the embarassing part is he belongs there
mathexpert

jacob wrote:

>open the window in the bathroom and shout "HAYYYYYY" in the gayest voice ever, obviously thinking it was one of my family members
respect
FrzR
That moment in class where you thought of a funny joke with your friends and laughed irl like a donkey.





HAAAW~!
mistysky
when I was in class the professor asked was everyone's summer good, and I was the only one to say no. and i sat like a foot away from him so I ended up having to explain. on the first day of class. in a room full of strangers omg kms
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