This beatmap was submitted using in-game submission on 2014年12月29日 at 21:43:41

Artist: marina
Title: Towa yori towa ni
Source: Shoujo Shiniki ∽ Shoujo Tengoku - The Garden of Fifth Zoa -
BPM: 200
Filesize: 10237kb
Play Time: 05:17
Difficulties Available:

1. Forever (6.04 stars, 1472 notes)

Download: marina - Towa yori towa ni
Information: Scores/Beatmap Listing
---------------

please redownload before 2014.1.25

Sorry, I am new to modding and my terminology is really bad and I don't really know what I am talking about very well

By "cleaning something up" I mean to align the notes up equally distanced apart or straightened out (or something like that)

By "personally" I mean that it might not be a problem with the beatmap itself but it still negatively affected me

I will not comment on difficulty of any patterns, I will only assume it was deliberate

You used an unnecessarily excessive number of streams and spinners

With a BPM of 199.997, you might as well round it to 200

Please consider using a stack leniency value greater than two. Default value is seven

Consider using AIMod with Ctrl + Shift + a, lots of unsnapped notes.

00:02:227 (2,1,2,3,1,2,3,4,5,6) - Please consider lowering the slider velocity, the sliders felt too fast for the slow rhythm during this section

00:17:225 (1,2,3) - I think you should move these three notes to 00:17:077

00:21:952 - Please consider adding a circle here to keep with the beat

00:22:177 (1,2) - Please consider lowering the distance between these two notes slightly - both 1/2 snap notes with normal distance spacing of x1.0 and felt a bit too far from each other (this might be just personal preference though) Sorry, nevermind. It was fine

00:24:877 (2) - This feels kinda off - the violin stroke is at 00:25:027

00:25:702 - Please snap this back to 1/2 tick (white tick) at 00:25:627

00:28:627 (1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12,13) - Please consider cleaning this stream up

00:34:327 - I think you should shorten this spinner to 00:32:827 as that is when the main drum beat for the break begins

00:40:027 (6) - This is off-timed to the voice at 00:39:877

00:48:446 (5) - This note is unsnapped to 00:48:427

00:49:927 (10,11) - These two circles sound off to the one music note (the voice) at 00:50:077 please consider adjusting the two and having only one note at 00:50:077

00:50:527 (12) - I feel like this slider should be lengthened to 00:50:977 and subsequently the two circles at 00:50:977 (1,2) feel unnecessary, unless you're going for beatmap-specific rhythm during this section which I guess is fine too? (I don't know enough about this)

00:58:327 - Personally, I feel like the slider at 00:58:477 (2) should be moved to 00:58:327 and the circle at 00:58:327 (1) should be moved to 00:58:477

01:06:450 (1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10) - The first note of the combo is unsnapped and, personally, a large group of unpatterned circles tends to feel rather dull while playing

01:14:228 (1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10) - Please clean this stream up

01:14:528 (5,6,7,8,9,10,1,2) - Personally, this section feels kinda off in general as there is a voice note beginning at 01:14:528 and there is another voice note beginning at 01:15:128 and another at 01:15:428. I guess you could move 01:14:978 (1,2,3) one 1/2 tick to the right from 01:14:978 to 01:15:128

01:15:728 - This voice note is unmapped

01:16:928 (1,2,3,4,5,1,2,3) - Personally, I'm not that great at reading some patterns but this is somewhat hard to read

01:18:225 (4) - Snap this and please consider cleaning the curve up

01:22:628 - An extended voice note begins here and not at 01:22:478 (unless this was intentional)
- I'd personally delete 01:22:778 (6) move 01:22:478 (5) to 01:22:628 and add two more circles on top of the fourth one in the combo at 01:22:478 and 01:22:553

01:25:628 - Please shorten this spinner to 01:25:028 as that is where the end of the extended voice note ends

01:35:528 (4) - This is unsnapped

01:34:628 (4) - Feels like it should be apart of the 01:35:078 (1,2,3) combo pattern, along with two circles at 01:34:778 and 01:34:928

01:48:878 (1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12) - This section feels off

01:51:728 (1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9) - Please clean up stream

02:16:629 (7) - The seven note of the combo is where the voice segment ends, so I feel the 02:16:779 (8) is unnecessary

02:35:979 (7,8) - These two circles are off-timed to the two notes at 02:35:829 and 02:35:979

02:39:129 - There is a beat here that starts the combo and is unmapped

02:43:179 (1) - Please move this to 02:43:029

02:44:079 (2) - Please move this to 02:43:929

02:44:979 (1,2) - Please move these to 02:44:829

02:47:979 (9) - Please move this to 02:47:829

02:48:879 (10,11) - Please move this to 02:48:729

02:49:329 (1,2) - Please move this to 02:49:179

02:49:779 (3,4) - Please move this to 02:49:629

02:50:229 - There is a voice note here - I'd personally put a circle here on top of the slider in the combo

02:52:329 - I'd personally extend this to 02:52:629 to keep the beats covered by the spinner consistent

02:53:079 (1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,1,2,3,4,5) - Please move these notes one 1/2 tick to the left - from 02:53:079 to 02:52:929

02:55:179 (1,2,3,4,5,6,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11) - Please move these notes one 1/2 to the left - from 02:55:179 to 02:55:029

02:57:729 (1,4) - Unsnapped

I'm sorry, but I'm too tired to keep going

Be sure to watch for other timing errors and please refrain from overly-excessive use of streams and spinners

thank you very much I will change it ^^

ToadTornado wrote:

Sorry, I am new to modding and my terminology is really bad and I don't really know what I am talking about very well

By "cleaning something up" I mean to align the notes up equally distanced apart or straightened out (or something like that)

By "personally" I mean that it might not be a problem with the beatmap itself but it still negatively affected me

I will not comment on difficulty of any patterns, I will only assume it was deliberate

You used an unnecessarily excessive number of streams and spinners

With a BPM of 199.997, you might as well round it to 200

Please consider using a stack leniency value greater than two. Default value is seven

Consider using AIMod with Ctrl + Shift + a, lots of unsnapped notes.

00:02:227 (2,1,2,3,1,2,3,4,5,6) - Please consider lowering the slider velocity, the sliders felt too fast for the slow rhythm during this section

00:17:225 (1,2,3) - I think you should move these three notes to 00:17:077

00:21:952 - Please consider adding a circle here to keep with the beat

00:22:177 (1,2) - Please consider lowering the distance between these two notes slightly - both 1/2 snap notes with normal distance spacing of x1.0 and felt a bit too far from each other (this might be just personal preference though) Sorry, nevermind. It was fine

00:24:877 (2) - This feels kinda off - the violin stroke is at 00:25:027

00:25:702 - Please snap this back to 1/2 tick (white tick) at 00:25:627

00:28:627 (1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12,13) - Please consider cleaning this stream up

00:34:327 - I think you should shorten this spinner to 00:32:827 as that is when the main drum beat for the break begins

00:40:027 (6) - This is off-timed to the voice at 00:39:877

00:48:446 (5) - This note is unsnapped to 00:48:427

00:49:927 (10,11) - These two circles sound off to the one music note (the voice) at 00:50:077 please consider adjusting the two and having only one note at 00:50:077

00:50:527 (12) - I feel like this slider should be lengthened to 00:50:977 and subsequently the two circles at 00:50:977 (1,2) feel unnecessary, unless you're going for beatmap-specific rhythm during this section which I guess is fine too? (I don't know enough about this)

00:58:327 - Personally, I feel like the slider at 00:58:477 (2) should be moved to 00:58:327 and the circle at 00:58:327 (1) should be moved to 00:58:477

01:06:450 (1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10) - The first note of the combo is unsnapped and, personally, a large group of unpatterned circles tends to feel rather dull while playing

01:14:228 (1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10) - Please clean this stream up

01:14:528 (5,6,7,8,9,10,1,2) - Personally, this section feels kinda off in general as there is a voice note beginning at 01:14:528 and there is another voice note beginning at 01:15:128 and another at 01:15:428. I guess you could move 01:14:978 (1,2,3) one 1/2 tick to the right from 01:14:978 to 01:15:128

01:15:728 - This voice note is unmapped

01:16:928 (1,2,3,4,5,1,2,3) - Personally, I'm not that great at reading some patterns but this is somewhat hard to read

01:18:225 (4) - Snap this and please consider cleaning the curve up

01:22:628 - An extended voice note begins here and not at 01:22:478 (unless this was intentional)
- I'd personally delete 01:22:778 (6) move 01:22:478 (5) to 01:22:628 and add two more circles on top of the fourth one in the combo at 01:22:478 and 01:22:553

01:25:628 - Please shorten this spinner to 01:25:028 as that is where the end of the extended voice note ends

01:35:528 (4) - This is unsnapped

01:34:628 (4) - Feels like it should be apart of the 01:35:078 (1,2,3) combo pattern, along with two circles at 01:34:778 and 01:34:928

01:48:878 (1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12) - This section feels off

01:51:728 (1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9) - Please clean up stream

02:16:629 (7) - The seven note of the combo is where the voice segment ends, so I feel the 02:16:779 (8) is unnecessary

02:35:979 (7,8) - These two circles are off-timed to the two notes at 02:35:829 and 02:35:979

02:39:129 - There is a beat here that starts the combo and is unmapped

02:43:179 (1) - Please move this to 02:43:029

02:44:079 (2) - Please move this to 02:43:929

02:44:979 (1,2) - Please move these to 02:44:829

02:47:979 (9) - Please move this to 02:47:829

02:48:879 (10,11) - Please move this to 02:48:729

02:49:329 (1,2) - Please move this to 02:49:179

02:49:779 (3,4) - Please move this to 02:49:629

02:50:229 - There is a voice note here - I'd personally put a circle here on top of the slider in the combo

02:52:329 - I'd personally extend this to 02:52:629 to keep the beats covered by the spinner consistent

02:53:079 (1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,1,2,3,4,5) - Please move these notes one 1/2 tick to the left - from 02:53:079 to 02:52:929

02:55:179 (1,2,3,4,5,6,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11) - Please move these notes one 1/2 to the left - from 02:55:179 to 02:55:029

02:57:729 (1,4) - Unsnapped

I'm sorry, but I'm too tired to keep going

Be sure to watch for other timing errors and please refrain from overly-excessive use of streams and spinners

thank you for your mod~ but the old one was so bad~ i made the new one!

hi~
thanks req
[Forever]

1. 00:15:427 (5) - 00:15:127 (4) - をCopyしてCtrl+J
2. 00:16:327 (5) - 00:15:427 (5) - とStack
3. 00:15:877 (2,3,4) - ↑の提案の(5)をCopyしてCtrl+Hした位置に配置
4. 00:18:427 (12) - NC
5. 00:27:277 (1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11) - DSがバラバラになっているので一定にした方が良いと思います。ex:0.8
6. 00:40:927 (3,1) - ここの間の歌詞が続いているので音を取ったほうがいいかも！
   
   idea

   
7. 00:42:427 - add note?
8. 00:47:827 (1,2,3) - overmap
   backのpianoの音が(1)だけなので(2,3)をremoveか(1)をSliderに変えて(2)の位置まで伸ばしてみるといいと思います。
9. 00:49:627 (7) - NC
10. 00:52:777 (4) - remove finish
11. 01:12:428 (6) - NC
12. 01:15:128 (8) - NC
13. 01:16:478 (2) - Stackより軽めのジャンプの方がいいかなっておもいます。
14. 01:52:628 - ここからSpinnerが入るように前にnoteを置いたほうが自然かなぁと思います。
15. 01:56:228 (1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12,13,14,15) - DSを一定に
16. 01:55:328 (1) - NC
17. 02:05:828 (7,8,9,10,11) - StreamのDSは一定に。
18. 02:06:578 (1,2,3,4,5) - ^
19. 02:10:778 (4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12,13,14,15,16,17) - DSを一定に。
    02:10:778 (4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12,13,14) - と02:11:528 (14,15,16,17) - は別のDSで一定にしてもいいかなって思います。
20. 02:11:678 (1) - Spinner end at 02:14:228 -
21. 04:07:930 (4) - NC
22. 04:09:880 (7) - ^
23. 04:24:880 (1) - ^
24. 04:29:081 (4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12) - DSを一定に。
25. 04:33:281 (1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12,13,14,15) - ^
26. 04:38:531 (6,7,8,9,10,11,12,13,14,15,16) - ^
27. 04:43:331 (5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12,13,14,15,16,17) - ^
28. 04:48:281 (1) - NC
29. 04:55:331 (2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12) - DSを一定に。

Good Luck~

litoluna wrote:

hi~
thanks req
[Forever]

1. 00:15:427 (5) - 00:15:127 (4) - をCopyしてCtrl+J
2. 00:16:327 (5) - 00:15:427 (5) - とStack
3. 00:15:877 (2,3,4) - ↑の提案の(5)をCopyしてCtrl+Hした位置に配置
4. 00:18:427 (12) - NC
5. 00:27:277 (1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11) - DSがバラバラになっているので一定にした方が良いと思います。ex:0.8
6. 00:40:927 (3,1) - ここの間の歌詞が続いているので音を取ったほうがいいかも！
   
   idea

   
7. 00:42:427 - add note?
8. 00:47:827 (1,2,3) - overmap
   backのpianoの音が(1)だけなので(2,3)をremoveか(1)をSliderに変えて(2)の位置まで伸ばしてみるといいと思います。
9. 00:49:627 (7) - NC
10. 00:52:777 (4) - remove finish
11. 01:12:428 (6) - NC
12. 01:15:128 (8) - NC
13. 01:16:478 (2) - Stackより軽めのジャンプの方がいいかなっておもいます。
14. 01:52:628 - ここからSpinnerが入るように前にnoteを置いたほうが自然かなぁと思います。
15. 01:56:228 (1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12,13,14,15) - DSを一定に
16. 01:55:328 (1) - NC
17. 02:05:828 (7,8,9,10,11) - StreamのDSは一定に。
18. 02:06:578 (1,2,3,4,5) - ^
19. 02:10:778 (4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12,13,14,15,16,17) - DSを一定に。
    02:10:778 (4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12,13,14) - と02:11:528 (14,15,16,17) - は別のDSで一定にしてもいいかなって思います。
20. 02:11:678 (1) - Spinner end at 02:14:228 -
21. 04:07:930 (4) - NC
22. 04:09:880 (7) - ^
23. 04:24:880 (1) - ^
24. 04:29:081 (4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12) - DSを一定に。
25. 04:33:281 (1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12,13,14,15) - ^
26. 04:38:531 (6,7,8,9,10,11,12,13,14,15,16) - ^
27. 04:43:331 (5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12,13,14,15,16,17) - ^
28. 04:48:281 (1) - NC
29. 04:55:331 (2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12) - DSを一定に。

Good Luck~

modくれてありがとうございます！とても役に立ちます！:)

すみません。遅れました。。。

[Forever]

1. 00:45:727 (3,4,5) - 00:44:827 (1,2,3) - のRhythmと変わってくるのでStackせずに配置したほうがわかりやすく好ましいと思います。
2. 00:50:527 (1) - 形を整えましょう。
3. 00:57:127 (7) - ここから歌が始まっているはずなので00:57:427 (1) - のNCをはずして00:57:127 (7) - にNC
4. 01:05:227 (1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12,13,14,15) - (1~6)までStackしてStreamに繋いでいますが区切りがよくわからなかったので01:05:602 (6) - にNC入れたほうがいいかなと思いました。
5. 01:25:628 (1,2,3) - 01:25:628 (1,2) - と01:26:228 (2,3) - の幅があまり誤差がなく音取りに空きが結構あるのでわかりづらく思えました。01:25:628 (1,2) - をStackして3に繋げるのがbest?
6. 01:27:728 (7,8,9) - ここだけDSが狭まってるので(7)にNCをつけるか今までどおりのDSで配置したほうが良いと思います
7. 01:29:678 (4) - 01:29:828 (5) - の始端にStackしてないのは故意？
8. 01:32:678 (1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12,13) - コンボ数が長すぎるとおもうのでどこかにNCを！
9. 01:46:778 (7) - か01:47:078 (8) - にNC
10. 01:55:328 (1) - NCのつけ忘れ
11. 02:11:528 (14,15,16,17) - 歌詞に合わせて丸くStreamにしたほうがいいかなと思いました。
12. 02:51:129 (9) - NC付けたほうがSliderのスピードの変化がわかりやすくなるかもです。
13. 02:58:629 (5,6) - Stack
14. 03:01:554 (8,9) - (9)でBPM x1.50になっているのでDSが1.00xでも広くなっています。変速をx1.00にしてDSを1.00xにしてから変速をx1.50にしてみてください！
15. 05:07:631 (7) - 05:07:331 (6) - の終端とStackしてないのが故意ならばもう少ししたに下げたほうが綺麗になると思います。
    

がんばってくださああああ！

新年快乐 不负责任的提提建议

[Forever]
少女天狱我没玩完啊 Lass的ED还是比OP棒 不提（喂

02:10:778 (4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12,13,14,15,16,17) - 13之后的部分略丑 stream没什么好想法的话画个弧就可以了
02:19:629 (6,1) - 压上了差评 这个flow也不是十分能接受 其他地方也有类似的问题
03:31:630 (1,2,3,4,1,2,3,4) - 这个我建议ctrl+H一下 不容易读错
02:55:179 (1,2,3,4,5,6,7) - 6以前是个很不错的梗 不过7为啥在左边 放右边应该更顺
有些没叠好啊啥的就不提了（我懒

音效感觉太乱 最好统一一下normal和soft在哪用 比如01:25:628 - 这里就适合soft

顺便kiai一般是下在副歌上 比如01:38:228 - 02:16:629 - 、04:12:880 -04:44:231 -

Eggache0 wrote:

新年快乐 不负责任的提提建议

[Forever]
少女天狱我没玩完啊 Lass的ED还是比OP棒 不提（喂

02:10:778 (4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12,13,14,15,16,17) - 13之后的部分略丑 stream没什么好想法的话画个弧就可以了
02:19:629 (6,1) - 压上了差评 这个flow也不是十分能接受 其他地方也有类似的问题
03:31:630 (1,2,3,4,1,2,3,4) - 这个我建议ctrl+H一下 不容易读错
02:55:179 (1,2,3,4,5,6,7) - 6以前是个很不错的梗 不过7为啥在左边 放右边应该更顺
有些没叠好啊啥的就不提了（我懒

音效感觉太乱 最好统一一下normal和soft在哪用 比如01:25:628 - 这里就适合soft

顺便kiai一般是下在副歌上 比如01:38:228 - 02:16:629 - 、04:12:880 -04:44:231 -

谢谢提醒><我会去改改的.

litoluna wrote:

すみません。遅れました。。。

[Forever]

1. 00:45:727 (3,4,5) - 00:44:827 (1,2,3) - のRhythmと変わってくるのでStackせずに配置したほうがわかりやすく好ましいと思います。
2. 00:50:527 (1) - 形を整えましょう。
3. 00:57:127 (7) - ここから歌が始まっているはずなので00:57:427 (1) - のNCをはずして00:57:127 (7) - にNC
4. 01:05:227 (1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12,13,14,15) - (1~6)までStackしてStreamに繋いでいますが区切りがよくわからなかったので01:05:602 (6) - にNC入れたほうがいいかなと思いました。
5. 01:25:628 (1,2,3) - 01:25:628 (1,2) - と01:26:228 (2,3) - の幅があまり誤差がなく音取りに空きが結構あるのでわかりづらく思えました。01:25:628 (1,2) - をStackして3に繋げるのがbest?
6. 01:27:728 (7,8,9) - ここだけDSが狭まってるので(7)にNCをつけるか今までどおりのDSで配置したほうが良いと思います
7. 01:29:678 (4) - 01:29:828 (5) - の始端にStackしてないのは故意？
8. 01:32:678 (1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12,13) - コンボ数が長すぎるとおもうのでどこかにNCを！
9. 01:46:778 (7) - か01:47:078 (8) - にNC
10. 01:55:328 (1) - NCのつけ忘れ
11. 02:11:528 (14,15,16,17) - 歌詞に合わせて丸くStreamにしたほうがいいかなと思いました。
12. 02:51:129 (9) - NC付けたほうがSliderのスピードの変化がわかりやすくなるかもです。
13. 02:58:629 (5,6) - Stack
14. 03:01:554 (8,9) - (9)でBPM x1.50になっているのでDSが1.00xでも広くなっています。変速をx1.00にしてDSを1.00xにしてから変速をx1.50にしてみてください！
15. 05:07:631 (7) - 05:07:331 (6) - の終端とStackしてないのが故意ならばもう少ししたに下げたほうが綺麗になると思います。
    

がんばってくださああああ！

最近試験の準備してますので、遅れてしまってすみません。チェックありがとうございます！わからないとこがあったら、ゲームでチャットしてもいいですか＞＜

大丈夫です！
お気軽にどうぞ！

Be sure to use 3/4 at these points. This is going with your offset and BPM, which I'm not sure is correct or not. BPM 199.997??? Shouldn't it just be 200 if it's that close?

Romanised Title: Towa Yori Toa ni |It should be Eiyuu Yori Eien ni but the lyrics at 4:10 say otherwise. In any case, remove the w from the second Towa

Readings: http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/%E6%B0%B8%E9%81%A0
On: えいえん (eien)
Kun: とあ (toa)


You can remove "永久より永遠に" from the tags as it is already in the Title. Maybe add Eiyuu and Eien just in case the song is actually called Eiyuu Yori Eien ni.


Just passing by, good luck with this :3 Don't worry about KD or anything. I didn't do much.

Lanturn wrote:

Be sure to use 3/4 at these points. This is going with your offset and BPM, which I'm not sure is correct or not. BPM 199.997??? Shouldn't it just be 200 if it's that close?

Romanised Title: Towa Yori Toa ni |It should be Eiyuu Yori Eien ni but the lyrics at 4:10 say otherwise. In any case, remove the w from the second Towa

Readings: http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/%E6%B0%B8%E9%81%A0
On: えいえん (eien)
Kun: とあ (toa)


You can remove "永久より永遠に" from the tags as it is already in the Title. Maybe add Eiyuu and Eien just in case the song is actually called Eiyuu Yori Eien ni.


Just passing by, good luck with this :3 Don't worry about KD or anything. I didn't do much.

Thank you very much!
but I think the title is right.><
I will change the bpm 199.777-200.
thx

hiii... from mod q here

[General]
that green combo colour is too bright ....

[Forever]
00:14:527 (4) - it just too far away
00:16:777 (8) - ^
00:28:027 (1) - don't use the clap... disturbing
00:28:477 (1) - starting from 00:28:402
00:44:827 (1,2,3,4,1) - reduce the sound more only for this (35% maybe)
00:56:377 (3) - add clap ?
01:09:278 (7) - ctrl+G ?
01:49:028 (4) - add clap?
02:03:278 (3) - jump too far ...
02:37:329 (2) - don't use clap
03:06:429 (6) - can you move this? it much better if that object is seperated than staked like the other object in the same combo
03:43:780 (5,6) - new combo ?
03:49:480 (2) - use circle is better, ended at 03:49:555 if you still want slider

Okay thats all from me and sorry for this very late mod...
Good luck !

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