Manishh wrote:
So wait a sec. Posting a 'nerd emoji' as a joke is so rude, that I need to self-reflect on myself lol
with sincerity, it's a partial "kinda yeah" answer from me
it's not your nerd-emoji joke in isolation, after all. people are not looking at you from a vacuum of context, they're considering various behaviors you seem to have with others and what i assume is being perceived as a mixture of an inflexibility (note that you would've appeared to someone like me as having somewhat dug your heels in this time--
edit: except i'm actually probably wrong now, you seem to be thinking about it as a start, but i don't quite know what your thought patterns are and it'll generally be hard to know how to align them with people you don't necessarily even know that well) and a possible misunderstanding of the culture here (though i imagine you may be inclined to describe this ot subculture as being a flaming dumpster, i'd suppose that's a pretty flat generalization to make and it'll be very relative to how we value the presence or contributions of the people that visit here)
which you're not exactly alone in, but it's an ambiguous and complicated thing. i don't think anything i can suggest would actually accurately reflect what's happening here with/without you, around you, from you, or to you-- but i don't have a particularly deeply critical opinion of you, i've kinda forgotten what represents you accurately so i generally would not want to hold impressions that i don't understand
either way it's hard to really describe but that indescribable experience does not really make it Not Real, or Not Substantive, or not based off of something that you at least might've participated in or even caused (whether being at the wrong place at the wrong time, or just not being aware of how to communicate with the particular ways people here think)
i generally am inclined to believe i misunderstand people here a lot. it's not like i'm not reactive or kinda ridiculously goofy with the effort or seriousness i take some things with, but i would imagine this is normalized to some people now, and i would be willing to believe people will engage with me reasonably
if they want/care to as long as i'm not coercing someone into that or insulting them or making a ridiculously contentious statement or whatever
idk what exactly is happening in full detail but there may be something you can do to be more aware of when someone reacts in some way without necessarily minimizing that reaction they have-- there's generally at least some substance, sometimes inclusive of it being that they genuinely do just want to troll you, but in some cases that trolling can come from other things as well that put you in someone's sights or w/e, even if they may not necessarily care that much
something like that? i don't really know, i would think i'm guessing blindly but i do hope that maybe it seems reflective of something, or at least plausible enough to pause and find something you might not have noticed before that isn't a uniform impression of "people are ridiculously callous and cynical and maybe even malicious" when i think most times people are chilling, half of that time maybe they're chilling even when they're in conflict with someone