Ok let me tell you of a the cringiest story you may possibly ever hear from me. Let's take a trip down memory lane back 7 years, all the way back to my junior year in highshcool.
I had a crush in highschool, let's call her V. I and V had no classes together, but I pretty much knew when I am likely to bump into her. See, we had phys ed at around the same time, but at different gymnasiums. If you imagine a Y shape hall way, I was at the left side and she was at the right. Maybe once every week or two I would be able to time my exit out of the lockers to see her and attempt to make contact. It seemed almost as a religious excersise at that point to chicken out.
Now for the peak cringe part 1. Come the day of February 14, 2012, Valentine's day. I thought to myself so many things need to align for me to approach her. I need to be able to bump into her, she comes out lockers around the same time I do, and she would be coming out of there without her friends. If the stars align and all of that comes true, I would tell her my feelings for her. However, I need to a back-up plan in case it goes horribly wrong or terrifically right. To my luck, spring break started end of Friday that week. If it goes horribly wrong, there will be a week to forget everything. If goes terrifically right, I'll have the best spring break to date.
Now for the peak cringe part 2. I decided to make an origami heart for me to give to her, and write my e-mail in it in case she opens it up. I knew the odds of that would be low, but still what if? So the day comes. The day coincided with phys ed, so first conditional is true. As I was coming out of lockers I saw her coming out. Second conditional is true. She was without her friends. Third conditional is true. My heart skipped a beat. It's like there was absolutely no excuse for me to chicken out this time. The moment is so perfect I need to be mentally disabled to not take the chance. And so I did. I don't remember exactly how the convo went since it was 7 years ago, but I do roughly remember what I did and what I said,
"Hey V. I this to give you", I gave her the origami heart. She looked intrigued and interested. I wanted to ask her if we can go out sometime. The pressure was starting to press down on me. I probably look very, very awkward at that point. Fluffs in my stomach over the top. It was unbearable. What I wanted to say to her and ask her was starting to get mixed in my mind. I was starting to screw things up in my head and knew a slur of incoherence was about to come out.
"See you tomorrow", I said stuttering and started to make my way outside, waving back to her. Non of our paths to class coincided but that day, so I'll have to make an effort to figure out how I could see her again before spring break. I kinda hoped she would open the heart at that point.
Now for the peak cringe part 3. Fast forward to Friday. I was in the tech lab, the go-to class slacking off and playing video games. I was playing Halo CE trying to get the number one place when V's friend, B approached me,
"Hey abraker, can you be honest about this question", she asked. I knew this has to do with V, and a rush of nervousy suddenly filled me. I was busy playing the game, giving a fraction of my attention.
"Sure", I said while being hesitant to say so.
"Do you have feeling for V?" Ok so at this point you would think any sane person would be able to say "yes". However, I don't consider myself to be sane at the point. I was trying to focus on some game to make me feel better, during an internal struggle of one side of me that is receiving over the top anxiety with the situation and another that loves her.
"Can't she come ask me?", I ask. I and B went back and forth a few times before she gave up asking me. When she left, I felt like shit. I questioned why I focused so much at the game, realizing a bit later it was just to cope with the situation. I was winding over the exchange as I was leaving the tech lab, and realized that she was prob outside the class right around the corner waiting for a reply from B. Looking back, she was prob as nervous as I was to speak to me, possible even more, because I never explicitly said I loved her. For all she knew, I could be a messenger.
Spring break came and went. It's as if non of that ever happened. Sooooooo... that's prob the cringiest story I will ever tell you.