Heya, random mod, only looking at oni for now.
Good luck
General
One of the main things that bothers me is the vocal mapping in the beginning, mainly that before 00:28:986 - . This makes the note density too high, even though the part before 00:28:986 - is calmer, I'd suggest you just stick to the instruments before this point because I feel like this would be more beneficial for the intro. For example:
One of the main things that bothers me is the vocal mapping in the beginning, mainly that before 00:28:986 - . This makes the note density too high, even though the part before 00:28:986 - is calmer, I'd suggest you just stick to the instruments before this point because I feel like this would be more beneficial for the intro. For example:
- in the Kantan: 00:15:553 (9,10) - remove, and remove 00:08:837 (4,5) - as well. What's the point of following vocals only when you combine vocal+instrument really nicely later like after 00:30:330 - ?
- Oni especially the density contrast feels strange to me with patterns like at 00:15:330 - , why is this mapped more intensely than 00:45:553 - for example?
Oni
- Any specific reason why 00:46:897 - is a finish and stuff like 00:44:658 (90,91) - isn't? I'd suggest you also change 00:47:792 (99,103) - to D and maybe also remove the notes from both 00:48:016 - and 00:49:807, I think this looks neater.
- You can also add a k on 00:46:225 - , would be neat to have 2 5-note patterns followed by 2 3-note patterns if you applied the above suggestion.
- The part from 00:52:270 - to 00:53:837 - feels strange to me because it is mapped opposite to what the music suggests. The intensity goes up, so either move 00:52:382 - to 00:53:277 - or add a k on 00:53:277 - to represent this, a 5-note towards the end of this section would make more sense imo.
- You can remove the note from 00:59:434 - , or move it to 00:59:658, makes more sense to follow the vocal like this because the instrument sound on 00:59:434 - is nowhere near as strong as on 01:01:225. Personally, I find you could also remove 01:00:330 - and fill out 01:01:897 - like this], cursor on 01:00:777 - . I feel like this would fit the tempo of the song nicely. Similarly applies to other kiai sections.
- I think you can add a k on 01:09:509 - and change 01:09:956 - to d, I think it would be better if you emphasise the stronger piano on 01:09:509 - with a k and then leave 01:09:956 - as d for contrast to the high sound on 01:10:180 - .
- Pretty optional, but I think 01:10:628 - could be d as the pitch in that pattern goes from high to low.
- K on 01:26:300 - would be nice to differentiate in cymbal pitch to the 2 finishers before this one.
- It would be nice if you move 01:13:762 - to 01:13:986 - and perhaps delete 01:14:098 - , the 1/1 break fitting to the strong piano would sound much better imo.
- I think you can change 01:36:822 - to d and remove 01:37:046 - , the continuous pattern doesn't really emphasize anything.
- 01:29:882 - I think this should not be a finish when you emphasize this kind of piano using a triple before. Same with 01:33:464 - .
- 02:00:776 (28,29,30,31) - shouldn't this be kd dk? Better combination of vocal+instrument that way imo.
- Similar to the intro, I feel like the calm part from 01:40:628 - could lose a few notes.
- I'm not convinced that 01:55:404 - d ddk d k d k is the best option here, I think you can try this, cursor on 01:55:852 - . Otherwise you use too much k that messes up the emphasis, eg. if you space 01:57:195 - as 1/1 for the clap, 01:56:747 - should be d to actually contrast the sound. Similar with the pattern at 02:02:568 - .
- I think using 1/4 in the calm part at 02:52:941 - and 03:00:106 - is not good, the song is relatively calm. The buildup would be much better if you save the 1/4 for after 03:06:598 - when the 1/4 guitar starts from 03:06:598 - .
Good luck