Hi, I know this one is really close to being ranked, but I would like to point out couple of minor errors in sb
http://puu.sh/r9240.jpg - this line is "気持ち悪がられてしまっていました". It's lacking the last "imashita"
http://puu.sh/r92va.jpg - this line contains "どこかに" even though it's on the next line. Should be removed.
04:30:009 - 04:42:688 - These ― are em dashes borrowed from English (and many other western languages) and should be centered vertically.
That's everything I noticed, but I suggest calling some more people with Japanese knowledge to check the lyrics.
Great map and storyboard though!