Posting this from
my post in r/osugame to reach some more people:
Lustcore 3, the densest map ever been thrown to pending and legitimately aimed for rank. Topping at a average of 13.77 notes per second. The highest star rating that does not rely on 1/6+1/4 abuse, like Last Time or Rock'n'Roll does. Well, I want it ranked in a different fashion than Lawn Wake IV did: this song has a deep meaning that a few people know about around here. And this story, as much as this map's story, gives me mental breakdowns as long as they are happening.
However, now, I finally hit the point where I just can't listen to the song anymore and all I want is just to finish off what's been started. At first glance, it sounds ridiculous that I want to give up ranking this map, and retroactively doing that so I quit, because other people look up to me. But, it is the case.
Earlier in the month I wanted to have my head off this for some time, explaining the lock I requested to Okorin. However, I got it unlocked and I already can't take it anymore. Getting mods is painful enough for hard maps. Getting quality mods, even harder. This is because Loveless has a construction that will throw people off, and is only aimed at roughly 50 to 150 players - which are basically those who can pass Galaxy Collapse.
Even more, Inner Oni makes stuff even rougher to deal with, due to the massive gap caused by the star rating being a terrible difficulty rating system. While most people don't care about the value nowadays, it is still crucial as it can cause disqualifications or refusal to bubble. The current gap between Inner Oni and Loveless Oni is 2.99 stars, nearly two whole icons, should they exist after the level X.
Getting BN mods is worse than that, because it all ends up being luck as there aren't many people who can judge a map to its playability. I'd say in fact, there is only one who can at this level. And he already dropped a mod. It makes me kind of out of luck now - as most BNs have their queues closed and others will want to badly nerf Loveless to be mind-numbing easy.
And that's where it's blocking. The song is too chaotic, there will be too many changes to do for easier difficulties.
If not, there will be too many complains about Loveless Oni, by the people who are not part of the target audience.
There were some people arguing on how it should NEVER be ranked because of its ungodly density. There are people who reported the map to QAT because it got bubbled despite few mods. On the other hand, there is a small group of people who defend this map.
I'm also dreading the hater who wants to make all the hard work getting that to qualified (if it ever does) completely null by posting a hate mod.
Due to that, I don't find many people who are going to mod - unless I do M4M. This is a thing I've always wanted to avoid, due to how unreliable that is.
I'm sick of all of it. I've ended up slamming my fist against the desk, or punching a wall just because of one tiny thing in a diff that I can't seem to make work. It's just not fun anymore. It affects me, I've drastically changed in the past months. I've never been so easily frustrated at anything. It made me put aside my speedrunning projects. It made me just completely snap out.
I'm now down to two options: Give up, or die trying until it gets ranked...
What to do?
