00:09:997 (9997|0,10340|6,10683|0,11025|5,11283|0) - 7-1-7-1-2, then 00:11:454 (11454|1) - 1, much more comfortable.
00:12:054 (12054|3,12311|2) - Ctrl+j for some consistency then.
00:24:140 (24140|0,24140|4,24225|2) - 24-6 and 00:24:311 (24311|6,24354|5,24397|4,24440|3,24483|0,24483|1,24483|2) - ctrl+h. Your pattern is not pattern at all, sorry.
00:25:511 - and 00:26:883 - how about add notes to 7 and 1?
00:27:568 - Try this:
http://puu.sh/jNr1g/46b08dfa10.png. I don't recommend you to use sequences of 3 chords here, cause they conflict with rhythm.
00:29:454 (29454|4,29968|6,30483|4,30825|2) - I think, you should make less pressure on that sounds, delete.
00:31:340 - More pressure here, add note.
00:31:683 (31683|1) - Delete, 00:32:368 - Add to 1 and 00:33:740 - add to 7.
00:34:940 (34940|0,35025|1,35283|1,35368|2) - Add one more note to all that lines, drum+string. And repattern in more comfortable way, cause in gonna be intense.
00:37:168 (37168|5,37854|2) - Delete, you don't follow that sound.
00:36:311 (36311|3,36825|3,37340|4) - Delete, 00:37:511 (37511|3,37683|4) - 5-3.
00:38:025 (38025|1) - Move to 4, then 00:38:025 (38025|0) - to 2 for some column balance, then 00:38:625 (38625|4,38797|4,38968|4,39140|4) - to 1. That's very uncomfortable to play alternation holding LN on one hand. 00:39:911 (39911|2,39997|4,40083|2,40168|4,40254|2,40340|4,40425|2,40511|4) - move 2 columns right for same reason.
00:40:597 (40597|1,40683|3,40768|1,40854|3,40940|1,41025|3,41111|1,41197|3,41283|1) - Swap columns for consistency with 00:39:225 (39225|3,39311|5,39397|3,39483|5,39568|3,39654|5,39740|3,39825|5) - and make some changes to avoid note under LN.
00:57:740 - Delete one note, no reason for 4-noted chord.
00:58:083 (58083|6,58083|4) - Delete one note.
00:58:768 (58768|6,58768|1) - ^
Delete some notes further for consistency. You may use 2 notes if there are 2 sounds, but then you must follow second sound properly.
01:04:597 (64597|2,64768|2) - 1/6 between them.
01:05:283 (65283|1,65325|2,65368|3,65411|5,65454|4,65497|3,65540|1,65583|2,65625|3,65668|5,65711|4,65754|3,65797|1,65840|2,65883|3) - No reason for 1/8 triplets. They brake rhythm and they are almost impossible to control. You need to keep 3/8 alternation (although it's not based on music) or control 1/8 spam to play this. Use stairs of 4 notes or something like this:
http://puu.sh/jNSf5/f877bbf398.png. Sometimes you can see the whole impulse streams in sections like this (simple stair without turns).
01:06:483 (66483|2,66568|3) - Add one more note to both lines.
01:10:511 - Where's note for string?
01:18:483 (78483|6,78568|5) - Delete.
01:23:454 (83454|5) - Delete.
01:26:197 (86197|2,86197|1,86197|0) - Compare it to all that sounds: 01:26:540 (86540|5,86711|3,86883|0,87054|6) -. Then delete 01:26:540 (86540|5,86711|3,86883|0,87054|6) -
01:40:950 (100950|1) - Delete.
01:41:293 (101293|5) - 3 for some comfort.
Same changes through next LN.
01:49:264 (109264|4,109435|1) - Delete, 01:49:350 (109350|2) - add one more.
01:50:635 (110635|1,110807|5) - Delete, 01:50:721 (110721|4) - add, 01:50:121 - Add.
01:51:064 - Add 2 notes.
01:58:607 - Fading starts here, so end first LN here.
There are still some issues with missing notes/overmapping. I recommend you to listen this track at 50% or 25% speed once more and check each instrument that you follow. You should understand what is
each your note for and you should not miss sounds randomly.