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Orangestar - Asu no Yozora Shoukaihan

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neonat
Just my 2 cents on this (I asked Hinsvar first)

General

Add 700 to AudioLeadIn for the ideal 2000 ms before the first object for all difficulties

Add -ARIA ON THE PLANETES- to tags? Part of her full name too

Easy

00:34:459 - unused green line
00:49:377 (4) - seems to be lacking the usual clap on the end of the slider
00:50:675 (1) - remove the clap on the middle end of the slider, it doesn't follow the usual 2 beat pattern
00:55:215 (1) - feels more fitting if it starts at 00:55:702 though, and having a circle placed at 00:55:215
01:36:728 (1) - remove that clap on the start of the slider, the place that you usually clap for objects is when you have music like at 01:36:404

TmTk's Normal

00:16:783 (1) - why not finish on the start of the slider?
00:50:513 (1,4) - I don't know if it was your intention, but if you wanted these to blanket, it's not very neat and exact right now
01:28:782 (4) - not really sure why you want to use a slider here, because it seems a circle would do fine at 01:28:782 as the portion at 01:29:107 really does seem quite void of music and the slider end feels extra
01:39:323 (5,1) - not perfect blanket, if they were supposed to be

Hard

00:06:405 (3) - this part seems to fit a NC, similar to music phrasing of 00:01:215 (1,2)
00:29:918 (1) - end the spinner at 00:32:026 - fits with the vocals better
00:40:134 (9) - NC here instead of 00:40:296 (1)
02:05:918 (1) - end the spinner at 02:08:026
02:06:566 - green line not snapped to any line, off by 1 offset

Insane

00:12:891 (6) - I think you should be following consistently with the combo pattern you had at the start. NC here instead of 00:13:377 (1)
00:14:513 (5) - NC
00:15:486 (3) - NC here instead of 00:15:161 (1)
00:29:918 (1) - end the spinner at 00:32:026
00:39:810 (1) - finish on end of slider
01:00:891 (1) - finish on start of slider
01:52:621 (1) - finish on end of slider
01:58:134 - shouldn't there be an object here? The music ends here, possibly with finish hitsound as well

TmTk's Insane

00:16:783 (1) - finish on start of slider
01:06:080 (1) - that's a really weird slider tail to be honest

iyasine_sk's Extra

00:39:648 (6) - I think it sound's cleaner without a finish on this note
00:54:567 (6) - ^
01:31:863 (9) - add whistle on end of slider, there is that soft cymbal-like sound from the drums here at 01:32:026
02:14:836 (8) - finish on the start of this slider, and remove the finish on 02:14:998 (1) - it sounds more fitting this way


Alright, back to Hinsvar now I guess~
Good Luck
iyasine
I apologize for the late reply , 02:36:890 ~ 02:52:944 - done

neonat wrote:

Just my 2 cents on this (I asked Hinsvar first)

iyasine_sk's Extra

01:31:863 (9) - add whistle on end of slider, there is that soft cymbal-like sound from the drums here at 01:32:026 fixed
02:14:836 (8) - finish on the start of this slider, and remove the finish on 02:14:998 (1) - it sounds more fitting this way hmm...keep it


Alright, back to Hinsvar now I guess~
Good Luck
Thanks for modding~ Hinsvar , neonat !

http://puu.sh/ejMXJ/10333bf9f3.rar
Topic Starter
Gelbana
Added revised iyasine_sk difficulty :D

Thanks for the mod neonat!
neonat

neonat wrote:

Just my 2 cents on this (I asked Hinsvar first)

General

Add 700 to AudioLeadIn for the ideal 2000 ms before the first object for all difficulties Fixed

Add -ARIA ON THE PLANETES- to tags? Part of her full name too Added, that's a long name

Easy

00:34:459 - unused green line Whoops, fixed
00:49:377 (4) - seems to be lacking the usual clap on the end of the slider Fixed
00:50:675 (1) - remove the clap on the middle end of the slider, it doesn't follow the usual 2 beat pattern Fixed
00:55:215 (1) - feels more fitting if it starts at 00:55:702 though, and having a circle placed at 00:55:215 Added
01:36:728 (1) - remove that clap on the start of the slider, the place that you usually clap for objects is when you have music like at 01:36:404 Fixed


Hard

00:06:405 (3) - this part seems to fit a NC, similar to music phrasing of 00:01:215 (1,2) Ageed, fixed
00:29:918 (1) - end the spinner at 00:32:026 - fits with the vocals better Fixed
00:40:134 (9) - NC here instead of 00:40:296 (1) With the finish, it feels better to leave as the last note and keep the new combo following.
02:05:918 (1) - end the spinner at 02:08:026 Fixed
02:06:566 - green line not snapped to any line, off by 1 offset Moved to a neater and more appropriate place.

Insane

00:12:891 (6) - I think you should be following consistently with the combo pattern you had at the start. NC here instead of 00:13:377 (1) Agreed, fixed
00:14:513 (5) - NC Fixed
00:15:486 (3) - NC here instead of 00:15:161 (1) Fixed
00:29:918 (1) - end the spinner at 00:32:026 Fixed
00:39:810 (1) - finish on end of slider Fixed
01:00:891 (1) - finish on start of slider Fixed
01:52:621 (1) - finish on end of slider Fixed
01:58:134 - shouldn't there be an object here? The music ends here, possibly with finish hitsound as well My ears are going bad, fixed


Alright, back to Hinsvar now I guess~ \o/ thanks
Good Luck

Edit: Added caren and tsumetaku updates
caren_sk

neonat wrote:

iyasine_sk's Extra

00:39:648 (6) - I think it sound's cleaner without a finish on this note
00:54:567 (6) - ^

fixed !!
thx modding !!
update.
Tsumetaku

neonat wrote:

Just my 2 cents on this (I asked Hinsvar first)

General

Add 700 to AudioLeadIn for the ideal 2000 ms before the first object for all difficulties

Add -ARIA ON THE PLANETES- to tags? Part of her full name too

TmTk's Normal

00:16:783 (1) - why not finish on the start of the slider? hmm,fixed with In
00:50:513 (1,4) - I don't know if it was your intention, but if you wanted these to blanket, it's not very neat and exact right now uh i think it's fine now..
01:28:782 (4) - not really sure why you want to use a slider here, because it seems a circle would do fine at 01:28:782 as the portion at 01:29:107 really does seem quite void of music and the slider end feels extra i use slider here to fill the rhythm lack of cymbos,and to follow 1/1
01:39:323 (5,1) - not perfect blanket, if they were supposed to be fixed~

TmTk's Insane

00:16:783 (1) - finish on start of slider
01:06:080 (1) - that's a really weird slider tail to be honest uh ok changed Q_Q

Alright, back to Hinsvar now I guess~
Good Luck
Thx neonat san!!~
Sakura
From my modding queue:
[General]
You can't have both sliderslide and slidertick muted at the same time
Why does Insane, Hard, and Extra start 1/2 beat earlier?

[Storyboard]
Instead of putting "Stoyboard Gelbana" wouldn't be better to put "Storyboard by Gelbana"? btw really nice storyboard i love it

Ranking Criteria wrote:

Storyboard images must be at a reasonable size for their usage. For most uses (e.g. full-screen images), the maximum is 800x600 pixels for 4:3 aspect ratio images, although 640x480 is highly preferred. For widescreen mode (recommended) the maximum is 960x540 pixels for 16:9 aspect ratio images and 960x600 for 16:10 images. The editor is 640x480 at default, so there's really no need to use anything larger for full-screen purposes.
Which means you need to resize: bg.jpg (the one in SB folder), bg2.jpg bgnogirl.jpg, bgnogirlbw.jpg and black.jpg, there's discussion on changing this here, but for now gotta stick to that.

[iyasine_sk's Extra]
Holy, this map's awesome. Tho the storyboard that shows who mapped what is barely noticeable midplay, you might wanna try to make it bigger or something.
Also it's barely visible at some point: http://puu.sh/er2NR/39c11fe01c.jpg

[TmTk's Insane]
00:16:783 (1) - Sorry but this is unacceptable, the slider goes back into itself twice at the end, change that.
00:40:134 (6) - This one needs to change too D:
01:12:567 (6) - This one's not as bad, but i'd prefer if you opened it up a bit more.
02:42:080 (1) - This one looks awkward D: don't see why that shape in this case, try something different?
02:51:161 (1) - ^
No, I didn't miss sliders, only those I pointed out in bold and red are an issue, the others are more of aesthetic stuff.

[Insane]
00:54:729 (8,1,2,3) - This back and forth feels annoying to read and play, i suggest you try something else.
02:06:566 - Unsnapped timing section, resnap it back.
02:00:729 (2,3,4) - I understand what you're going for here, but unfortunately 3 is way too small to look good if you curve it, i suggest keep the curve REAAAALLY small, or just dont curve it at all or try something else in this pattern. I tried something more structured as an example
Example
Notice how both of the cases have notes descending in parallel lines

[Hard]
02:01:864 (3,4,1) - This is really misleading and hard to read. I think it'd be better if you stack 02:01:864 (3,4) And adjust spacing afterwards.
02:08:350 (1,1) - Needs more recovery time (1.5 beats) (the 1 beat guideline works on 160 bpm, this is faster so it needs more)

[Normal]
01:42:404 (6) - Don't move the slider back into itself like that, specially on a Normal, open it a bit more.

[Easy]
00:29:918 (1,1) - Increase recovery time by 1/2 beat (the 4 beat guideline works on 160 bpm, this is faster so it needs more), also do this with: 00:55:702 (1,1) - , 02:05:917 (1,1) - and 02:31:863 (1,1) -
01:14:026 (4) - Biurai Slider and even then try to avoid these sliders on an Easy, open it more
02:51:323 (1) - ^

Really good map, i'll throw some kudosu stars at it, call be back after fixes are applied.
iyasine
to Gelbana

SB lyrics check

00:24:080 - 僕を置いで → 僕を置い
Topic Starter
Gelbana

iyasine wrote:

to Gelbana

SB lyrics check

00:24:080 - 僕を置いで → 僕を置い
Thanks iyasine for finding that. Must have accidentally changed or just completely missed it altogether.

Storyboard update. Re-download please:

Split and tiled bg images so they abide by the less than the 800x600 (or 960x540 not sure but makes no difference) maximum supplied by the ranking criteria.
iyasine_sk collab naming was given drop shadow and made larger for clarity.
Pretty much finalised now and it seems to contain no more unrankable elements on this end.

Edit: Added Tsumetaku updates
Thanks for the stars and mod Sakura :D

Sakura

Sakura wrote:

From my modding queue:
[General]
You can't have both sliderslide and slidertick muted at the same time Removed tick
Why does Insane, Hard, and Extra start 1/2 beat earlier? I thought hard+ players would be able to hit this note thats timed to lyrics over beat; easy player would have a difficult time.

[Storyboard]
Instead of putting "Stoyboard Gelbana" wouldn't be better to put "Storyboard by Gelbana"? btw really nice storyboard i love it I triend implementing but the two rows seems to fit two words better than three. I think people should still understand the meaning :P

Ranking Criteria wrote:

Storyboard images must be at a reasonable size for their usage. For most uses (e.g. full-screen images), the maximum is 800x600 pixels for 4:3 aspect ratio images, although 640x480 is highly preferred. For widescreen mode (recommended) the maximum is 960x540 pixels for 16:9 aspect ratio images and 960x600 for 16:10 images. The editor is 640x480 at default, so there's really no need to use anything larger for full-screen purposes.
Which means you need to resize: bg.jpg (the one in SB folder), bg2.jpg bgnogirl.jpg, bgnogirlbw.jpg and black.jpg, there's discussion on changing this here, but for now gotta stick to that. Covered previously

[iyasine_sk's Extra]
Holy, this map's awesome. Tho the storyboard that shows who mapped what is barely noticeable midplay, you might wanna try to make it bigger or something. Tried to fix as best as possible. The bottom is the only place that wouldn't be intrusive of the rest of the SB or obscured by the UI while also making sure those who play in 4:3 can still see who mapped what. So I did the changes specified previously; hope it works. It kinda conflicts with the SB style but I guess it's a compromise.
Also it's barely visible at some point: http://puu.sh/er2NR/39c11fe01c.jpg ^

[Insane]
00:54:729 (8,1,2,3) - This back and forth feels annoying to read and play, i suggest you try something else. Got rid of it and tried something else
02:06:566 - Unsnapped timing section, resnap it back. Whoops, fixed
02:00:729 (2,3,4) - I understand what you're going for here, but unfortunately 3 is way too small to look good if you curve it, i suggest keep the curve REAAAALLY small, or just dont curve it at all or try something else in this pattern. I tried something more structured as an example Did something similar while keeping the mini slider.

[Hard]
02:01:864 (3,4,1) - This is really misleading and hard to read. I think it'd be better if you stack 02:01:864 (3,4) And adjust spacing afterwards. Fixed
02:08:350 (1,1) - Needs more recovery time (1.5 beats) (the 1 beat guideline works on 160 bpm, this is faster so it needs more) Fixed

[Easy]
00:29:918 (1,1) - Increase recovery time by 1/2 beat (the 4 beat guideline works on 160 bpm, this is faster so it needs more), also do this with: 00:55:702 (1,1) - , 02:05:917 (1,1) - and 02:31:863 (1,1) - Fixed all
01:14:026 (4) - Biurai Slider and even then try to avoid these sliders on an Easy, open it more Fixed
02:51:323 (1) - ^ Fixed

Really good map, i'll throw some kudosu stars at it, call be back after fixes are applied. Will do! Thanks :D
Tsumetaku

Sakura wrote:

From my modding queue:

[TmTk's Insane]
00:16:783 (1) - Sorry but this is unacceptable, the slider goes back into itself twice at the end, change that.
00:40:134 (6) - This one needs to change too D:
01:12:567 (6) - This one's not as bad, but i'd prefer if you opened it up a bit more.
02:42:080 (1) - This one looks awkward D: don't see why that shape in this case, try something different?
02:51:161 (1) - ^
No, I didn't miss sliders, only those I pointed out in bold and red are an issue, the others are more of aesthetic stuff. Q______Q I've tried to learn some special slider shape... but seems like i failed orz... all changed by another opened way

[Normal]
01:42:404 (6) - Don't move the slider back into itself like that, specially on a Normal, open it a bit more. uh fixed~

Really good map, i'll throw some kudosu stars at it, call be back after fixes are applied.
Sakura
Apparently when you fixed the text for the collab you forgot to delete these:
sb\font\eng\c.png
sb\font\eng\i.png
sb\font\eng\underscore.png
As they are unused now.


Either when i redownloaded it downloaded these again or they were removed last night after i redownloaded, well doesn't matter they are gone now.
Bubbled!
Hinsvar
@iyasine: Why would you use a finish for 02:32:026 (1) even though there is nothing that can be emphasized nicely with one?

Poke me later \o/
iyasine

Hinsvar wrote:

@iyasine: Why would you use a finish for 02:32:026 (1) even though there is nothing that can be emphasized nicely with one?
oh...sorry That is my mistake , remove finish :D
Poke me later \o/
http://puu.sh/eyeWN/dcbe1b9541.rar
Hinsvar
Let us pray for the best.
Tsumetaku
\QuQ/
[ Mephisto ]
\QvQ/
iyasine
\(~o~)/ <叶った~
Winnie
Congratz on first rank :)
Topic Starter
Gelbana
Yay! \o/

Thanks to all mappers and modders!
Special thanks to Sakura and Hinsvar :D
Lust
Finally! Big congratulations buddy
Unsfamiliar
grats!
caren_sk
congratz!!!!!!!
[Vincent]
Finally! Well done gelbana.
A well deserved rank and awesome sb.
SoraHD
Great song and a really great map. Insane difficulty follows the song rhythm so well :D
2/10 I failed to achieve FC - IGN
OhSOFrazzled
:) 8-)
wendao
01:58:134 (1) - https://osu.ppy.sh/ss/3133515 (TmTk's Insane)

aaa
nvwrii
:) :) :)
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