Today, while at the mall, I had a major breakdown because I was suffering from a PTSD attack. I kept on thinking about how traumatic school was for me, since I'm bullied physically and emotionally...and after a while, I had some sort of flashback/relapse...I saw those people who bullied me, their eyes full of hatred and pity...Right then and there, I dropped my bags, and dropped to the floor, crying hysterically.

I really need some fucking help.

EOHK-Fluttershy wrote:

Today, while at the mall, I had a major breakdown because I was suffering from a PTSD attack. I kept on thinking about how traumatic school was for me, since I'm bullied physically and emotionally...and after a while, I had some sort of flashback/relapse...I saw those people who bullied me, their eyes full of hatred and pity...Right then and there, I dropped my bags, and dropped to the floor, crying hysterically.

I really need some fucking help.

You need a hug. Come here.

Someday in October, I happen to chat with a girl here on osu! . Nothing unusual if not for the fact that I keep chatting with her everyday more, and I start liking her. As thé days pass by I start feeling moreand more affected to her. We decide tobecome a "couple" and I ask myself if it is theright thing to do because I'm skeptical about long distance relationships. Months pass and I love her more everyday. One day I start wondering if we could meet IRL. Turns out she can visit me in July. As I wait and wait, she decides to leave me in June after we had an argument about something stupid. It was ok. Well it wasn't ok at all but I thought "I'll get over it with time." Everything seems to be normal but some weeks after that I find out she left me for someone else. I fall in some sort of depression (??? I'm 16, hopefully i'll never know what réal dépression is.) The mixed feelings of manger, jealousy and deep sadness seem to be unbearable to the point I can't do anything productive IRL. I start harassing her in every way I can and I even decide to hurt myself once. The harassing ends on day. The process is slow, REALLY slow, but I'm starting to feel better. This sent on for about two weeks, until one day I findout this guy Will meet her in some days. There it all starts again. This time it's even worse than before.
She's sleeping next to him as I'm writing this. At the momoent, I don't have any hope of getting over it.
Tl; dr this is probably the worst night in my life. Sorry for any grammatical mistakes, this french tablet has an automatic corrector.

If you got any harsh comment about this, please keep it for yourself.

I just rewatched the whole Anohana series again, and >>>>> TTwTT

めんまみーつけた！！

I teared up out of embarrassment.

Jordan wrote:

.

My, my. Time heals all wounds, my friend. It's a painful process, but one we all go through.

It may be hard to keep off your mind, but just try to find things to distract you in the meantime. There's only one way to go after you've reached the bottom, right?

Loneliness. Not even my fault this time.

dreams crushed

sun ;_; i burned

Jordan wrote:

Someday in October, I happen to chat with a girl here on osu! . Nothing unusual if not for the fact that I keep chatting with her everyday more, and I start liking her. As thé days pass by I start feeling moreand more affected to her. We decide tobecome a "couple" and I ask myself if it is theright thing to do because I'm skeptical about long distance relationships. Months pass and I love her more everyday. One day I start wondering if we could meet IRL. Turns out she can visit me in July. As I wait and wait, she decides to leave me in June after we had an argument about something stupid. It was ok. Well it wasn't ok at all but I thought "I'll get over it with time." Everything seems to be normal but some weeks after that I find out she left me for someone else. I fall in some sort of depression (??? I'm 16, hopefully i'll never know what réal dépression is.) The mixed feelings of manger, jealousy and deep sadness seem to be unbearable to the point I can't do anything productive IRL. I start harassing her in every way I can and I even decide to hurt myself once. The harassing ends on day. The process is slow, REALLY slow, but I'm starting to feel better. This sent on for about two weeks, until one day I findout this guy Will meet her in some days. There it all starts again. This time it's even worse than before.
She's sleeping next to him as I'm writing this. At the momoent, I don't have any hope of getting over it.
Tl; dr this is probably the worst night in my life. Sorry for any grammatical mistakes, this french tablet has an automatic corrector.

If you got any harsh comment about this, please keep it for yourself.

this

*hugs tight*
I know how you feel dude. I damn know this feelings but hey

dkun wrote:

My, my. Time heals all wounds, my friend. It's a painful process, but one we all go through.

It may be hard to keep off your mind, but just try to find things to distract you in the meantime. There's only one way to go after you've reached the bottom, right?

c:

Jordan wrote:

Someday in October, I happen to chat with a girl here on osu! . Nothing unusual if not for the fact that I keep chatting with her everyday more, and I start liking her. As thé days pass by I start feeling moreand more affected to her. We decide tobecome a "couple" and I ask myself if it is theright thing to do because I'm skeptical about long distance relationships. Months pass and I love her more everyday. One day I start wondering if we could meet IRL. Turns out she can visit me in July. As I wait and wait, she decides to leave me in June after we had an argument about something stupid. It was ok. Well it wasn't ok at all but I thought "I'll get over it with time." Everything seems to be normal but some weeks after that I find out she left me for someone else. I fall in some sort of depression (??? I'm 16, hopefully i'll never know what réal dépression is.) The mixed feelings of manger, jealousy and deep sadness seem to be unbearable to the point I can't do anything productive IRL. I start harassing her in every way I can and I even decide to hurt myself once. The harassing ends on day. The process is slow, REALLY slow, but I'm starting to feel better. This sent on for about two weeks, until one day I findout this guy Will meet her in some days. There it all starts again. This time it's even worse than before.
She's sleeping next to him as I'm writing this. At the momoent, I don't have any hope of getting over it.
Tl; dr this is probably the worst night in my life. Sorry for any grammatical mistakes, this french tablet has an automatic corrector.

If you got any harsh comment about this, please keep it for yourself.

I went through something similar when I was 17 and then again when I was 18. Two 1 year long relationships that ended terribly. The first one I was with the girl for the entirety of the year and we were getting very serious about it (I mean talking about a future and such) one of her friends who I could never repay eventually told me that she knew about her cheating on me throughout the relationship and continuing to do so. I didn't really take it badly at all, but she ended up turning the breakup around on me (even though I did nothing wrong) and I lost all my friends and almost got the shit kicked out of me a few times. The second relationship was a girl I started talking to randomly online. She was in a very low mental state and was at the point of near suicide (I'm talking she was raped by her own father and a man in multiple occasions.) She admitted months later that the fact that I started talking to her and was so nice is the only reason that she kept from doing something terrible (Borderline suicide.) We fell for each other and decided to start a relationship which lasted about a year as well. I treated her with more respect than I've treated anyone in my life and never once requested anything she didn't want (She was very wary of anything relationshipwise due to her past) All of a sudden on day her mood changed violently and she began to completely backstab me and treat me like garbage. It got to the point where I gave up and ended the relationship.


My words of wisdom to you my friend is similar to what dkun said. Find something that you can use to take your mind off of it. Instead of putting yourself down or being angry or anything turn those feelings into something that you can progress on. For me it's rock climbing, all that pain I go through on a daily basis while climbing pretty much drains the negative feelings out of me and keeps me going strong. Of course, I may not know you well but you are more than welcome to hit me up if you ever need someone to talk to!

These recent posts in this thread

Kyonko Hizara wrote:

These recent posts in this thread

+ my shitty life

Oh man, just hang on there. Be strong and like the majority have said, do something to keep your mind off of bad thoughts. You'll be fine, it's just a matter of time so try to think positive even if it hurts. That's how I'm still here.

Static Noise Bird wrote:

Yesterday: My great-grandmother died.
Tonight: Vomiting for 2,5 hours.

The fact that I'm on the worst internet connection for the next 2 days is not making this any better. Not that I'd want to talk to many people.

Life shines et cetera.

And I'm really sorry for your loss SnB *hug*
You can talk with me if you ever need.

Rewatched The Green Mile.

I cri evrytim

I wonder how much she wants to hurt me before she's satisfied. Sad thing that people abuse distance to do unforgivable things to you, leading to harsh conséquences in your life and none in theirs.

Well I could ruin her life in many ways, I could doxx her on 4chan, give away her pics and such.

But I won't be lowering to her same condition of low, sad, cheap human being (:

loneliness

Dark_Ai wrote:

loneliness

*Hug* it's okay.

The new Shingeki no kyojin episode

My pc died today.

I didn't really cry, but almost.

Hefty, intense arguments with family over the decisions of bringing my blood relatives over.

Maraiga wrote:

And I'm really sorry for your loss SnB *hug*
You can talk with me if you ever need.

I'd love to talk to you, but I'm way too shy ;__;

Anyway, preparing for another week alone. I'm getting more and more ignored everywhere. I'll cry on the weekends so I can be "happy" at school :3

Onions make me cry everyday T^T

OH GOD CAN I JUST HIDE FROM EMBARRASSMENT!? (´°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥ω°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥｀)

NO!?

oh god

The way people have been treating me at school

Kyonko Hizara wrote:

The way people have been treating me at school

This is worded way better than my post yesterday. ;A;

On a serious note though, I really hope you'll be fine. I still don't understand why'd anyone treat you like that. You deserve to have everything to be a lot better. ❤
*hugflood*

Kyonko Hizara wrote:

The way people have been treating me at school

Some people will treat you in a good way so don't expect everyone to be like that..

Even I was in the same situation as yours but I'm already used to be hated.
I just look for other people who can treat me good so others might be able to change their mind.

Kyonko Hizara wrote:

The way people have been treating me at school

I know that feel...
But take notes that "Not All People hates You. and They might be Jealous to You."...
Just keep trusting Yourself and think that They're just An odds in Your life

Not really crying but very sad that the singer of ZARD, Izumi Sakai, deceases some years ago. I been listening their pop songs for the couple of days and didn't even bother researching and just saw this randomly in the youtube comments on one of my favorite songs from them.. She got only 40 years old
i hate cancer

TT..

She was so honest and open. I dont understand how all of the things in this world can happen to such a heart warming person..
i hate that it's not ALLRIGHT

this really painful cough
its so bad it actually makes me tear

why do they always break so quick

soba put a cold water bottle on my back

never again.

worth

Hika wrote:

soba put a cold water bottle on my back

never again.

you cried over a water bottle on your back.

u wot m8.

also, waking up at 8am after sleeping at 3am and waking up super tired. it was a tearful day.

I'll never forgive this asshole for making me cry this much. Why would someone who "loves you" constantly hurt you on purpose?
Yeh love, sure right.

Kyonko Hizara wrote:

The way people have been treating me at school

I hope things get better, I know that feeling. Been through that -hug-

my headdache doesnt want stop... ;_;

Not sad; teary eyes. My cold is killing me.

That new episode of Attack on Titan..poor Levi.

I hatehim...

The fact that my bloody cold just won't go away