Hi, sorry this took forever.
RED = Needs to be changed.
[jonathanlfj's Lunatic]
OD8 Would be cool, OD7 is just too easy. (or maybe it's just me lol)
00:07:167 (1) - Remove this combo. (and 00:08:716 (1) - ) I understand you want to follow the vocal with combos here(?), but I have a better idea for you. With those 2 combos gone you have just regular downbeat combos then you have to shorter combos kicking in at: 00:09:490 (1) - that following the build up of the music perfectly so it makes more sense for them to be shorter. Now with those previous ones longer you are following exactly to the build up!
00:34:264 (4,1) - Swap these combos? Makes more sense because of the downbeat and vocals, plus makes the jump pattern more clear.
01:06:006 (9) - Would be a very good idea to remove a repeat on this and use a note for the last beat. It will give the player a WAY better understanding of when the 1/8 ends instead of having to guess (sorta).
[Rewrite]
00:24:974 (1,2,3) - You've got the rhythm WAY off here. This is an example pattern I made: http://puu.sh/1I7Y6. It should be very obvious to by just listening that your rhythm is wrong. Here is the code if you want it:
01:24:259 (5) - The combos around here are kind weird let me give you a few suggestions to tidy them up. New combo here first off: 01:24:259 (5) - Then another at: 01:26:259 (9) - , now you can remove the combo at 01:26:259 (9) - , your combos will still do the same pattern (assuming you are doing that pattern for readability's sake.) as before just longer numbers.
I liked the use of 3/4 beats in the kiai btw.
That's all, call me back when you looked over this.
RED = Needs to be changed.
[jonathanlfj's Lunatic]
OD8 Would be cool, OD7 is just too easy. (or maybe it's just me lol)
00:07:167 (1) - Remove this combo. (and 00:08:716 (1) - ) I understand you want to follow the vocal with combos here(?), but I have a better idea for you. With those 2 combos gone you have just regular downbeat combos then you have to shorter combos kicking in at: 00:09:490 (1) - that following the build up of the music perfectly so it makes more sense for them to be shorter. Now with those previous ones longer you are following exactly to the build up!
00:34:264 (4,1) - Swap these combos? Makes more sense because of the downbeat and vocals, plus makes the jump pattern more clear.
01:06:006 (9) - Would be a very good idea to remove a repeat on this and use a note for the last beat. It will give the player a WAY better understanding of when the 1/8 ends instead of having to guess (sorta).
[Rewrite]
00:24:974 (1,2,3) - You've got the rhythm WAY off here. This is an example pattern I made: http://puu.sh/1I7Y6. It should be very obvious to by just listening that your rhythm is wrong. Here is the code if you want it:
163,146,24974,6,0,P|200:128|240:132,1,80,4|0,0:0|0:0,0:0:000:43:554 (5) - New combo? This follows your combo pattern, not sure why you didn't add one here.
320,145,25361,1,0,0:0:0
320,145,25458,1,0,0:0:0
392,68,25651,2,0,P|424:140|368:240,1,200
01:24:259 (5) - The combos around here are kind weird let me give you a few suggestions to tidy them up. New combo here first off: 01:24:259 (5) - Then another at: 01:26:259 (9) - , now you can remove the combo at 01:26:259 (9) - , your combos will still do the same pattern (assuming you are doing that pattern for readability's sake.) as before just longer numbers.
I liked the use of 3/4 beats in the kiai btw.
That's all, call me back when you looked over this.