1. 00:12:494 (1) - Sounds like this spinner is still a part of "koeru". You might want to remove the new combo on the spinner.
2. 00:34:302 (1,2,3,1,2,3) - This pattern is very confusing. It's too jumpy for its own good.
3. 00:45:041 (1,2) - The rhythm pattern would be more natural if it was like this:
   
4. 00:52:371 (1) - Perhaps remove this new combo to be completely consistent with all your "streams into sliders" combo patterning.
5. 01:09:587 (2) - Looks like new combo should be here instead of 01:09:416 (1) - .
6. 01:13:848 (1) - Remove this new combo for the first reason.
7. 01:17:598 (5) - Looks like new combo should be here instead of 01:17:939 (1) - . You'll want to apply these four as a whole; otherwise we'll have to come up with another consistent combo pattern.
8. 01:46:916 (1) - Do you think anything can be done to improve the readability of this slider? The hitburst of 01:46:234 (2) - covers almost all of it, and many will get a 100 here
   01:52:030 (3) - Just wondering why this isn't in the same direction as 01:50:666 (3) - and 01:51:348 (3) - .
9. 02:14:189 (1) - Why isn't this stacked with 02:13:848 (4) - to follow what you did with the first chorus? Since this happened a total of four times in the first chorus, players (I know I did) would expect an abrupt stop in the flow at this part in the chorus as well.
10. 02:18:791 (1) - Again, like the previous chorus, stack this with 02:18:450 (2) - . A possible fix would be to reverse the combo 02:18:791 (1,2,3) - and repositioning 02:19:302 (1) - for better spacing.
11. 02:44:530 (1) - and 02:45:212 (1) - What's the combo patterning here like?
12. 02:58:507 (1) - and 02:58:933 (1) - Sounds like this whole combo is part of "mieru", so you should remove the new combo on these two objects.

NatsumeRin wrote:

[Hard]
00:28:166 - add a note? (in fact i prefer a bit more change to get the music but whatever) Hmm,I dont get music
00:30:893 (1) - needs to be this slow? (0.75x is not enough?)ok,changed~
00:49:473 (1,2,3,4,5) - kinda don't get it, the pitch here is a _-_-_ (lazy to get better examples), but 1-5 seems more a shape but not really following the music.
k,changed
.

those wrote:

Eh..

[wring]

1. 00:12:494 (1) - Sounds like this spinner is still a part of "koeru". You might want to remove the new combo on the spinner.remain. It's unrankable, isn't it?
2. 00:34:302 (1,2,3,1,2,3) - This pattern is very confusing. It's too jumpy for its own good.sorry no. It's used NC for reading.
3. 00:45:041 (1,2) - The rhythm pattern would be more natural if it was like this:no.I think the slider start is the phrase start.
   
4. 00:52:371 (1) - Perhaps remove this new combo to be completely consistent with all your "streams into sliders" combo patterning.ok. And changed some NC.
5. 01:09:587 (2) - Looks like new combo should be here instead of 01:09:416 (1) - .ok
6. 01:13:848 (1) - Remove this new combo for the first reason.no. This is better imo.
7. 01:17:598 (5) - Looks like new combo should be here instead of 01:17:939 (1) - . You'll want to apply these four as a whole; otherwise we'll have to come up with another consistent combo pattern.umm? ok, I fixed, but I want to show the pentagon in the same collor.
8. 01:46:916 (1) - Do you think anything can be done to improve the readability of this slider? The hitburst of 01:46:234 (2) - covers almost all of it, and many will get a 100 hereI think that not a big problem because of AR9.If it's an unrankable set, I will fix.
   01:52:030 (3) - Just wondering why this isn't in the same direction as 01:50:666 (3) - and 01:51:348 (3) - .Because the later 01:52:371 (4,1) - , I want to curve slider for 01:52:712 (1) -
9. 02:14:189 (1) - Why isn't this stacked with 02:13:848 (4) - to follow what you did with the first chorus? Since this happened a total of four times in the first chorus, players (I know I did) would expect an abrupt stop in the flow at this part in the chorus as well.Because everything used the same pattern is not interesting for me. And already four times have used, it's easy to feel the rhythm imo.
10. 02:18:791 (1) - Again, like the previous chorus, stack this with 02:18:450 (2) - . A possible fix would be to reverse the combo 02:18:791 (1,2,3) - and repositioning 02:19:302 (1) - for better spacing.^ same reason
11. 02:44:530 (1) - and 02:45:212 (1) - What's the combo patterning here like?sorry I could not understand what you say, is the NC bad?
12. 02:58:507 (1) - and 02:58:933 (1) - Sounds like this whole combo is part of "mieru", so you should remove the new combo on these two objects.Only the former I fixed.

NatsumeRin wrote:

[wring]
00:12:141 (5,6) - i think here should be a "up" feeling, but the current placement seems hard to do that... what about http://puu.sh/AmoEok
01:09:246 - add a note?ok
01:53:052 (3) - miss a clap here?oops, thank you
last kiai is the best part of the diff, kinda a pain other parts is not as good (still fine though!) :<
You really understand me!!

wring wrote:

those wrote:

Eh..

[wring]

1. 00:12:494 (1) - remain. It's unrankable, isn't it? It's not unrankable, and it will do a better job accounting for HP drain.
2. 00:45:041 (1,2) - no.I think the slider start is the phrase start. "jibun" sounds more like {circle-slider}, since "ji" isn't really grouped with "bu-n" as "bu-n" is a harder and longer sound (you're Japanese, so you should know more about this than I do).
3. 01:52:030 (3) - Because the later 01:52:371 (4,1) - , I want to curve slider for 01:52:712 (1) - The real question is, why did you break the formation at 01:52:030 (3) - instead of making 01:52:371 (4) - face the other direction?
4. 02:14:189 (1) - Because everything used the same pattern is not interesting for me. And already four times have used, it's easy to feel the rhythm imo. Start a pattern, continue it. Otherwise, don't start the pattern at all. Therefore you should unstack some in the first chorus, or stack these. Apply this to 02:18:791 (1) -
5. 02:58:507 (1) - and 02:58:933 (1) - Only the former I fixed. As I mentioned before, it's not unrankable, and it will be better if 02:58:848 - didn't give as much HP, so you should remove the combo from the spinner

those wrote:

[wring]

1. 00:12:494 (1) - It's not unrankable, and it will do a better job accounting for HP drain.ok
2. 00:45:041 (1,2) - "jibun" sounds more like {circle-slider}, since "ji" isn't really grouped with "bu-n" as "bu-n" is a harder and longer sound (you're Japanese, so you should know more about this than I do).probably yes I know, so that I want to remain that.
3. 01:52:030 (3) - The real question is, why did you break the formation at 01:52:030 (3) - instead of making 01:52:371 (4) - face the other direction?I know what you say, though, players can guess that the first and second formation is same pattern, and the third is another type. Truly the third (3) and (4) is same. But okay. I changed the first and second, then it would be fine, isn't it?
4. 02:14:189 (1) - Start a pattern, continue it. Otherwise, don't start the pattern at all. Therefore you should unstack some in the first chorus, or stack these. Apply this to 02:18:791 (1) - I thought it own me. I have no reason to continue this style and it would be weary by using too every time. It's not in general, just my feeling.
5. 02:58:507 (1) - and 02:58:933 (1) - As I mentioned before, it's not unrankable, and it will be better if 02:58:848 - didn't give as much HP, so you should remove the combo from the spinnerok

NatsumeRin wrote:

bubble back.

S o r d a wrote:

Finally my first map ranked!