Stabbed by a PS2 box (WTF) 1 inch deep in my ankle, I have 74% chance of survival

Stabbed by a PS2 box
HOW

Guys. I'm loosing so much blood. I was playing Brawl with my Gamecube controller when this random stranger burst through the door, grabbed
my GC controller, and shoved it right into my cheekbone. I went to the doctor. He looked at the paper, shook his head, and told me that it was plowed
10" in, and that I would only have a 30% chance of living.

Then he looked up, smiled, and told me the good news. If I did survive, I could Brawl with my face.

High fives anyone?

So a blue feather is going to be stabbed 11 inches into my chin with a 66% chance of survival?

How fucked am I? Sexually.

I literally had to go around my room and search for the first blue item I touched today...
when I realized I had nothing, I just touched my camera for this.

A blue camera is going to be stabbed 11 inches into my hand and my chance of survival is 76%

I have just been stabbed with my logbook
9 inches deep, in my hands.
59% survival chance...

logbook
logbook
logbook

Just how??

I have just been stabbed with my book
9 inches deed, in my eyes.
12% survival chance...

o3o

At least you got stabbed by something that is stabable... -_-

Stabbed by my wrist pad (essentially, a bean bag type thing that my wrist sits on when my right hand is on my mouse), three inches deep, in my chin with 4% chance of survival....
Whaaaaaaaaaat... o_O

...Nice knowing you all...

gym shorts

not going to bother

roommate gone for training, gonna be alone for 1 month, meh

a mouse stabbed in my leg, sound weird

you know you're fucked up when everything stabs you

I now have a five inch deep wound in my hip dealt to me by a blanket. The doctors tell me that I only have an 11% chance of survival.

I also get to eat 1.81 kgs of stir-fried lamp with a headset. Luckily, I get to drink water.