I already wrote you a bunch of general things on the discussion page of your map as you already noticed.
Aside from that I can heavily recommend you to read through some of the threads in the guide compendium stickied to this subforum.
For rhythm, I'd recommend you to read through the first two points of
this thread:
Understanding osu! hitobjects
Active/Passive Hitsounding aka Clicking/Gameplay Rhythm
There's also this short note I wrote some time ago, although it is kind of abstract:
A "short" word on Easy/Normal-DifficultiesGenerally speaking, rhythm is the first thing you should work on as it always forms the core of the map. Even a map with poor placement is still relatively nice to play if the rhythm is on point. On the opposite a map with nice visuals but sloppy rhythm will always provoke moments of confusing that distract you from the music.
It is a difficult thing to grasp at first so don't hesitate to ask more specific questions about mapping a fine rhythm. 750 characters is really too short for any kind of explanation on your map discussion thread so preferably do it here.
