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This beatmap was submitted using in-game submission on Tuesday, October 24, 2017 at 11:49:00 PM

Artist: Erosion
Title: Shinkai Shoujo-piano ver.-
Tags: deep sea girl 小五 hatsune miku vocaloid utaite xiao wu Jennglebells
BPM: 110
Filesize: 2430kb
Play Time: 01:29
Difficulties Available:

Download: Erosion - Shinkai Shoujo-piano ver.-
Information: Scores/Beatmap Listing
---------------
#2

thanks for the hard jenn!

battle (i stole his timing with some editing from celerih and jonathanlfj so it's more accurate)

Metadata :
http://www.nicovideo.jp/watch/sm24993296
http://www.nicovideo.jp/watch/sm25076211
Last edited by osuskrub on , edited 35 times in total.
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Star Shooter
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generic first post message uwu
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Beatmap Nominator
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Star Shooter
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Earned 2 kudosu.
hi from the Mentorship-programm


Overall
  • bg normal.jpg and annie mays.jpg don't follow the newest standard for BG resolution which is 1920x1200, most people use 1920x1080 though since that's 16x9 which is why the 3rd BG is fine. Try and look for some other backgrounds or rescale yours with: http://waifu2x.udp.jp/




Image Deep Sea Girl
  • I think you use a bit too many whistles in the intro
  • why are these 2 spaced bigger than the rest? 00:08:168 (1,1) -
  • I think making this overlap more would look better and express the calmness of the section well 00:19:907 (4,5,1) -
    if not you could still make the curve of the 1/4 look more like in line with the slider
  • I think this jump is a bit too big 00:21:413 (5,6) - you can compare it to 00:22:014 (6,1) - or 00:16:316 (4,1) - which are both not as big but arguably strong.
  • this is placed on nothing 00:24:110 (4) -
  • 00:24:408 (4,1) - shouldn't be bigger than 00:24:769 (1,2) - I think
  • those don't have whistles one them 00:35:243 (2,3,4) - but the rest of the section does sort of, I don't really get how you use whistles so maybe re do some sections of HS
  • why are you skipping that Vocal? ;_; 00:56:569 -
  • I think this sound 01:01:067 - could rather be mapped passively through a slider end, also that 2nd vocal initially doesn't really land on that tick so I initially though there was no sound at all
  • the timing on these sounds a bit off 01:01:367 (3,4,5,6) - maybe change it a bit, I don't want to make any specific suggestions since it's not really clear to me if notes are too late or too early
  • the 2nd jump should be bigger than the first one here 01:02:567 (7,1,1) - because the 2nd one sounds more intense and is easier to hit because of slider leniency
  • this blanket could be improved in case you care about blankets 01:04:058 (2,1) - the slider end is further away than the rest of the slider body from the approach circle
  • I think it's a bit confusing that this 1/1 gap is spaced like all the other jumps 01:13:674 (2,3) - stacking it under the last slider end would make more sense in my opinion since you also didn't have many 1/1 jumps before.
  • I'm not sure which layer you're following, but making the quite piano here clicked 01:16:974 (3) - while there Vocals here aren't 01:15:474 (1,1) - seems weird
  • I think it's really inconsistent to use 1/2 stacks so far into the song 01:17:274 (4,5) - hard players are still expecting 1/2 to be visually different form other rhythms so using that really late into the song is hard to read for them and inconsistent design wise pls space them out
  • those 2 could stand out more from the circle of you notes you had before 01:24:835 (4,1) - since they are the only vocals after those few piano notes.
    I think it would be interesting to rotate the 2 by 180° so their position is sort of flipped, but other ideas could be better
  • those all hit too late I think 01:26:408 (5,6,1) -



Image Hard
  • you should simplify that 3/4 gap with either doubles or 1/2 sliders and a 1/4 gap 00:54:314 (2,3) - you also simplified that in the top diff so it would be weird to not do that on the lower diffs too



Image Normal
  • really nitpicky... these 2 would look better if they didn't slightly touch 00:20:211 (2,3) - same for a few other objects... Anime
  • It's kinda weird that the start of the kiai doesn't start with a NC 01:03:458 (5) - o.o


that's it, hope that helps a bit. gl with the set~
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Celektus wrote:
hi from the Mentorship-programm


Overall
  • bg normal.jpg and annie mays.jpg don't follow the newest standard for BG resolution which is 1920x1200, most people use 1920x1080 though since that's 16x9 which is why the 3rd BG is fine. Try and look for some other backgrounds or rescale yours with: http://waifu2x.udp.jp/ SHINKAI SHOU-JO
    MADAMADA SHIZUMU




Image Deep Sea Girl
  • I think you use a bit too many whistles in the intro
  • why are these 2 spaced bigger than the rest? 00:08:168 (1,1) - i wanted to try and express the vocal, i will reduce 00:08:168 (1) - 's distance but 00:10:610 (1) - is fine to me
  • I think making this overlap more would look better and express the calmness of the section well 00:19:907 (4,5,1) - i think it's fine,
    the triple nicely flows into the slider and i think making a stack or lowering the distance would add more pressure on the player

    if not you could still make the curve of the 1/4 look more like in line with the slider yea lol,
  • I think this jump is a bit too big 00:21:413 (5,6) - you can compare it to 00:22:014 (6,1) - or 00:16:316 (4,1) - which are both not as big but arguably strong. fixD,
  • this is placed on nothing 00:24:110 (4) - i am deaf
  • 00:24:408 (4,1) - shouldn't be bigger than 00:24:769 (1,2) - i think it should, it's transitioning into a more intense part than the lowering pitch of the piano was.
  • those don't have whistles one them 00:35:243 (2,3,4) - but the rest of the section does sort of, I don't really get how you use whistles so maybe re do some sections of HS i'm gonna recheck my hs anyways
  • why are you skipping that Vocal? ;_; 00:56:569 - the slider path represents the vocal which i like
  • I think this sound 01:01:067 - could rather be mapped passively through a slider end, also that 2nd vocal initially doesn't really land on that tick so I initially though there was no sound at all i feel like making a slider would add less contrast to the buildup of the song, and having low distance on that nice works very nicely imo
  • the timing on these sounds a bit off 01:01:367 (3,4,5,6) - maybe change it a bit, I don't want to make any specific suggestions since it's not really clear to me if notes are too late or too early i stole the timing from a ranked version so /shrug
  • the 2nd jump should be bigger than the first one here 01:02:567 (7,1,1) - because the 2nd one sounds more intense and is easier to hit because of slider leniency adjusted
  • this blanket could be improved in case you care about blankets 01:04:058 (2,1) - the slider end is further away than the rest of the slider body from the approach circle me no care about blankets
  • I think it's a bit confusing that this 1/1 gap is spaced like all the other jumps 01:13:674 (2,3) - stacking it under the last slider end would make more sense in my opinion since you also didn't have many 1/1 jumps before. but in play a player should be able to determine that's a 1/1 than 1/2 because 1/2 jumps appear fairly quickly
  • I'm not sure which layer you're following, but making the quite piano here clicked 01:16:974 (3) - while there Vocals here aren't 01:15:474 (1,1) - seems weird the vocals are clicked on the heads and can end on the tails, i do this all the time throughout the song. the piano there is to make sure the rhythm doesn't seem so empty.
  • I think it's really inconsistent to use 1/2 stacks so far into the song 01:17:274 (4,5) - hard players are still expecting 1/2 to be visually different form other rhythms so using that really late into the song is hard to read for them and inconsistent design wise pls space them out 00:53:262 (5,6) - i used them, and they are used, and the ar makes them predictable to read and add pressure to the most intense part of the kiai
  • those 2 could stand out more from the circle of you notes you had before 01:24:835 (4,1) - since they are the only vocals after those few piano notes.
    I think it would be interesting to rotate the 2 by 180° so their position is sort of flipped, but other ideas could be better sure
  • those all hit too late I think 01:26:408 (5,6,1) - explained above



Image Hard
  • you should simplify that 3/4 gap with either doubles or 1/2 sliders and a 1/4 gap 00:54:314 (2,3) - you also simplified that in the top diff so it would be weird to not do that on the lower diffs too i opted for doubles



Image Normal
  • really nitpicky... these 2 would look better if they didn't slightly touch 00:20:211 (2,3) - same for a few other objects... Anime ANIME
  • It's kinda weird that the start of the kiai doesn't start with a NC 01:03:458 (5) - o.o im gay


that's it, hope that helps a bit. gl with the set~


thank you for modding!
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osuskrub wrote:
Celektus wrote:
hi from the Mentorship-programm

  • why are you skipping that Vocal? ;_; 00:56:569 - the slider path represents the vocal which i like
    that pretty lame tho to represent the start of a vocal with a slider body


I overall wanted to say that I can't really tell which instrument your rhythm prioritises, but that's more general criticism. People usually use sliders to prioritize the to them more important layer over the other by making the less important one land on slider ends. If you already know that then I'm sorry to annoy you, but I think it's an important thing to be mentioned
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Combo Commander
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i'm mainly mapping the vocals with piano as filler but i use different arrangements of rhythms to emphasize vocal syllables and piano

i might as well change the slider but i used it because i like variation but due to consistency i might as well change it
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Rhythm Incarnate
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hey!

i am terribly terribly sorry for taking so long to post my mod. some RL issues happened and i'll try to get to your map as soon as possible! hope i can do it by this week.
(i believe it was a m4m, so using this post as an update to tell you that my map is pending! https://osu.ppy.sh/s/539042)

_____________________________


Normal


Hard


dipsy girl
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Combo Commander
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Mismagius wrote:
hey!

i am terribly terribly sorry for taking so long to post my mod. some RL issues happened and i'll try to get to your map as soon as possible! hope i can do it by this week.
(i believe it was a m4m, so using this post as an update to tell you that my map is pending! https://osu.ppy.sh/s/539042)

_____________________________


Normal
  • 00:11:818 (2,3,4) - because of timing point stuff, the spacing got kinda fucked up here, strongly recommend fixing this to make the spacing consistent since it's a normal technically a normal does not need to have 1000% distance snap pixel perfect everything, though i did adjust it by hand a little
  • 00:20:211 (2,3,4) - kinda ugly overlap, i'd personally prefer if you did something like this yes
  • 00:23:501 (2,3,4) - i know the timing points are going a bit silly here but it's really recommended that you keep spacing constant here done
  • 00:58:372 (4) - move to x243 y346 to fix stacking here apparently x:242 y:345 seemed to work better
  • 00:58:673 (5,6,7,1) - inconsistent spacing, same as before yes
  • 01:02:267 (3,4) - ^ this one looks fine to me, a normal player isn't going to freak out if sliders are just a little farther than usual
  • 01:11:858 (3) - maybe add whistle to the sliderend to follow the strong piano at the background? oops
  • 01:16:974 (3) - move to x128 y297 to fix stacking done
  • 01:17:874 (5) - same as 01:11:858 yea
  • 01:19:074 (6,7,1) - overlap here looks kinda ugly imo, maybe do something like this? like 1 px but okay
  • 01:21:180 (2) - move 1px right to fix stacking this one seemed fine to me
  • 01:22:696 (5) - you can make this a nicer blanket by moving the second sliderpoint to x376 y308 yea
  • 01:23:914 (1,2,3) - inconsistent spacingthis one also looks fine to me


Hard
  • 00:12:416 (3,4,1) - i think this happens throughout the diff but it looks really weird to me and plays kinda badly, in a calm song like this the spacing shouldn't change suddenly in a kinda constant rhythm i adjusted it to the best of my ability
  • 00:16:617 (5) - missing NC yes
  • 00:22:615 (6) - NC should be here instead of 00:23:501 (1) - yes
  • 00:25:045 (4) - NC? mhm
  • 00:32:234 (5,1) - swap NC anime
  • 01:00:467 (1,2,3,4,5,6,7) - eh, just looks ugly in my opinion & flows pretty badly. if you wanna give emphasis you can do something like this instead - notice how i remove (3) since there's no sound in the music there and it just sounds overmappedeh, i wasn't a big fan of your suggestion, all of the circles in that pattern have a sound and i'm more going on strong and weak sounds with that type of patterning
  • 01:04:058 (4,5) - you can try making better blankets in these cases by using the yellow circle from the sliderball as reference - something like this! done
  • 01:07:058 (4) - maybe stack with (1)'s sliderend? sure
  • 01:07:658 (5,1) - same as 01:04:058 anime
  • 01:24:520 (5,6,7) - inconsistent spacing here looks really weird tried to adjust the best i could


dipsy girl
  • 00:56:268 (1,2) - maybe fix blanket using the approach circle as reference? done
  • 01:26:408 (5) - timing sounds off in this notenice catch! this is actually on 1/8


ty for modding!
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Rhythm Incarnate
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not so professional mod coming through

normal

use ar4 you madboy

00:12:715 (4) - sir, try to snap the object thanks
00:20:211 (2) - would recommend rotating the red anchor as it looks quite bad currently
00:23:501 (2,3,4) - this is minor but followpoints on normals do actually matter http://i.imgur.com/8ZWRXgT.jpg
00:31:036 - combo way too long here, splitting 00:33:438 (3) - http://i.imgur.com/Kwp9QLb.jpg like that gives a break and accentuates the vocals a little bit better!!
00:39:435 (5,6,7) - yo i'm nazing the fuck out of you, so i'm deeply sorry for that but yeah... thing is, if you are curving (5) as that it'd be much better if (6) would look visually patterned by making it flow towards that object http://i.imgur.com/oEd9X7G.jpg . then you can drag (7) close to (6) and ta-da! you know when you are making these super-linear patterns, try to keep it clean, if you start curving sliders by this much but objects don't visually flow, then just make sliders fully stright, would be much btter
00:43:042 - hoooly, give 'em some breakzzz, this is a massive spike

ehh let me help you a bit with the kiai:
01:10:658 (5) - rotate tail by 28°
01:07:958 (4) - 01:12:768 (8) - 01:16:974 (6) - delete
01:19:074 (2,3) - 1/1 + circle on 01:19:977 -

great overall!!

hard

00:15:403 - ouch
00:22:615 (1,2) - rhythm again

i will try to be honest and not so harsh
this needs a remap

the visuals; the placements; the flow; hell even the rhythm just don't work at all. none work.
like yeah, sure, ds and stuf fmight ruin your map. that's why you can, sometimes, and if it /looks/ similar break with the distance snapping, but let me give you some examples of what is just completely wrong:
00:09:389 (4,5,1) -
00:12:987 (1,3) -
00:13:609 (2,4) -
00:23:501 (2,3,4,1) -
00:31:036 (2,3,4,1) -
00:54:465 (3,4,5,6,7,8,1) - this hurts
00:59:543 (3,2) - q
01:20:280 (1,4) -

you need to leave more breaks during patterns, you are just having the same mistakes across every difficulty. your patterning isn't good at all ,so you need to focus on small groups of objects before moving towards something more heavy.
a small advice would be to look at other people's maps and try to get different ideas on small groups before moving on - and also some self-modding after finishing the map would be a nice idea

the mapset has a lot of potential, but this difficulty will hold you back unless some bn thinks otherwise (which... has occurred)

anime

00:13:312 (1,2,3,4) - yes, consider mapping a good build-up please, something like http://i.imgur.com/eovlt60.jpg looks ezpz
00:16:016 (3,4) - these are supposed to be stressed, 00:09:999 (4,5,1) - here's a good example of what you should be doing. please follow the music properly
00:16:617 (1,2) - visually speaking this is real bad, here's a better-looking pattern for the lulz http://i.imgur.com/m38ZMkY.jpg
00:29:238 (4,1,2,3) - eee spacing
00:50:256 (3,4) - if anything try ctrl+g'ing the rhythm with 00:50:857 (5) - as there's nothing to emphasize on 00:50:557 -
00:56:268 (1) - why is this the only extended slider in the whole map come on
01:01:067 (3) - yes, excuse me?
01:04:058 (2,3,1) - vs 01:13:074 (1,2,3) - take care with that filler and the ncing!!

i'd say you need to take more care of the spacing during kiai times. it really isn't inconsistent, but the emphasis is just plain wrong. you should just use higher spacing when the vocals are more emphasized in the bgm and not during the whole kiai
also, please take care at your overall design. stuff such as 01:17:874 (1,2,3,4) - would look way, way better if the slider design of these were a bit more similar rather than just 4 different shapes
on a last note, please be conscious of the overall spacing on non-kiai sections, please... from 00:25:045 - to 00:46:649 - it seems like a clownfiesta, you should be more considered to actual emphasis and design. patterning might not be so important, but once you've learned a lot abotu mapping, these things actually hurt visually speaking




i can go more in-depth into this, but basically... just read the above and work on it slightly, you'll see improvements!!

good luck
you can hit me up whenever you want for more help, you know i can assist you with that!!!
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Combo Commander
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Yuii- wrote:
not so professional mod coming through

normal

use ar4 you madboy ar 4.5

00:12:715 (4) - sir, try to snap the object thanks i swear i had this snapped
00:20:211 (2) - would recommend rotating the red anchor as it looks quite bad currently ye
00:23:501 (2,3,4) - this is minor but followpoints on normals do actually matter http://i.imgur.com/8ZWRXgT.jpg the skin i map with doesn't have follow points so oops
00:31:036 - combo way too long here, splitting 00:33:438 (3) - http://i.imgur.com/Kwp9QLb.jpg like that gives a break and accentuates the vocals a little bit better!! ye ye
00:39:435 (5,6,7) - yo i'm nazing the fuck out of you, so i'm deeply sorry for that but yeah... thing is, if you are curving (5) as that it'd be much better if (6) would look visually patterned by making it flow towards that object http://i.imgur.com/oEd9X7G.jpg . then you can drag (7) close to (6) and ta-da! you know when you are making these super-linear patterns, try to keep it clean, if you start curving sliders by this much but objects don't visually flow, then just make sliders fully stright, would be much btter this is why you aren't a tier 2 anymore
00:43:042 - hoooly, give 'em some breakzzz, this is a massive spike i can't really do much about this, i changed 00:46:649 (1) - into a 1/1 slider so i hope it alleviates some of the clicking intensity

ehh let me help you a bit with the kiai:
01:10:658 (5) - rotate tail by 28° i personally like this angle and i don't think every object needs to flow into the other
01:07:958 (4) - 01:12:768 (8) - 01:16:974 (6) - delete i agree with every one of them except the second one, it's highlighting a fairly strong vocal
01:19:074 (2,3) - 1/1 + circle on 01:19:977 - sure

great overall!!

hard

00:15:403 - ouch
00:22:615 (1,2) - rhythm again

i will try to be honest and not so harsh
this needs a remap

the visuals; the placements; the flow; hell even the rhythm just don't work at all. none work.
like yeah, sure, ds and stuf fmight ruin your map. that's why you can, sometimes, and if it /looks/ similar break with the distance snapping, but let me give you some examples of what is just completely wrong:
00:09:389 (4,5,1) -
00:12:987 (1,3) -
00:13:609 (2,4) -
00:23:501 (2,3,4,1) -
00:31:036 (2,3,4,1) -
00:54:465 (3,4,5,6,7,8,1) - this hurts
00:59:543 (3,2) - q
01:20:280 (1,4) -

you need to leave more breaks during patterns, you are just having the same mistakes across every difficulty. your patterning isn't good at all ,so you need to focus on small groups of objects before moving towards something more heavy.
a small advice would be to look at other people's maps and try to get different ideas on small groups before moving on - and also some self-modding after finishing the map would be a nice idea

the mapset has a lot of potential, but this difficulty will hold you back unless some bn thinks otherwise (which... has occurred) i will attempt a remap

anime

00:13:312 (1,2,3,4) - yes, consider mapping a good build-up please, something like http://i.imgur.com/eovlt60.jpg looks ezpz borborygmos
00:16:016 (3,4) - these are supposed to be stressed, 00:09:999 (4,5,1) - here's a good example of what you should be doing. please follow the music properly i made sure that this player feels very stressed when playing them
00:16:617 (1,2) - visually speaking this is real bad, here's a better-looking pattern for the lulz http://i.imgur.com/m38ZMkY.jpg very anime,
but i did it/

00:29:238 (4,1,2,3) - eee spacing please explain more
00:50:256 (3,4) - if anything try ctrl+g'ing the rhythm with 00:50:857 (5) - as there's nothing to emphasize on 00:50:557 - yse
00:56:268 (1) - why is this the only extended slider in the whole map come on fiine
01:01:067 (3) - yes, excuse me? i swear on my life there's a sound there
01:04:058 (2,3,1) - vs 01:13:074 (1,2,3) - take care with that filler and the ncing!! since i wanna do vocals for those, i just deleted 01:04:958 (3) -

i'd say you need to take more care of the spacing during kiai times. it really isn't inconsistent, but the emphasis is just plain wrong. you should just use higher spacing when the vocals are more emphasized in the bgm and not during the whole kiai
also, please take care at your overall design. stuff such as 01:17:874 (1,2,3,4) - would look way, way better if the slider design of these were a bit more similar rather than just 4 different shapes
on a last note, please be conscious of the overall spacing on non-kiai sections, please... from 00:25:045 - to 00:46:649 - it seems like a clownfiesta, you should be more considered to actual emphasis and design. patterning might not be so important, but once you've learned a lot abotu mapping, these things actually hurt visually speaking




i can go more in-depth into this, but basically... just read the above and work on it slightly, you'll see improvements!!

good luck
you can hit me up whenever you want for more help, you know i can assist you with that!!!

thank you so much for modding yuii!
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Image General


  • How about changing diff name here to something that isn't the translation of the title. Something like Drowning Emotions would be cool
  • You could use a better sample for the hitwhistle, use this one that I used in my own map for this song https://celerih.s-ul.eu/meCPPmUU
  • Also there's an unused bg in the song folder, or that the hard diff doesn't have it set for some reason, might want to fix that
  • 01:26:408 - Timing point here is late, your map needs to be perfectly timed, move it to 01:26:360 -



Image Normal

  • 00:08:168 (5) - NC here, combo gets a bit long afterwards
  • 00:38:238 (4) - To make the pattern look cleaner move this up and reduce the curve of the slider
  • 00:43:042 (2) - To follow the piano better move this to start on 00:42:741 - and have it end at the same place as it did before. This way both piano and vocals are followed better
  • 01:07:958 - Would add a circle here since the all the other vocals in the kiai are followed except for this one
  • But I'd still make some more 1/1 gaps in this, rhythm is dense and should be made easier. It is lowest diff after all
  • 01:11:858 (7) - make into 2 circles at the start and end of the slider and reduce density
  • 01:07:058 (3) - Same thing as above, could even make 01:07:658 - a 1/2 slider from here to cover vocals and circle on 01:07:058 - instead of slider
  • Nice normal, good job



Image Jennglebell's Hard

  • 00:08:168 (1,2) - Would reduce distance here in favor of higher distance for 00:08:778 (2,3) - since there's much stronger piano there
  • 00:24:769 (4,1,2) - Once again kinda backwards emphasis, 1 should get more spacing that 2 here
  • 00:27:141 (4) - Note here is overmapped, there's no sound to support it as there is a break in both piano and vocals
  • 00:42:741 (2,3,4) - Rhythm here could be improved upon since going for faint vocals over strong piano is confusing when playing. See box below for a suggestion
    Image
  • 00:59:274 (2,3,4) - Overmapped note on 00:59:840 (3) - makes rhythm here improvable, mostly making a 1/1 slider on 00:59:543 - . See box below
    Image
  • 01:02:852 (1) - Both vocals and piano hit on 01:03:155 - so shorten this by 1/4. It's a shame that the slider shape will have to be changed since it's really nice but the song just doesn't support it :/
  • 01:08:258 (1) - Another case of a slider being 1/4 too long. If the vocals aren't being extended and just last 1/2, extended sliders won't fit
  • Main problem here is rhythm and overmapping imo. Apart from that I really like how this map looks and the fun use of slider movement



Image Deep Sea Girl

  • 00:09:084 (3) - Such strong piano on a slider reverse isn't the best. circle + 1/2 slider would be a better rhythm here
  • 00:22:615 (1) - The very straight and "sharp" shape of the slider here clashes with the rest of the sliders as of yet, and there aren't any distinct sounds that really justify it
  • 00:28:040 (2) - 00:37:639 (2) - Once again the reverses here could be make into something more appropriate, like 1/2 slider + circle
  • 00:42:741 (2,3) - Here a reverse would actually work wonderfully, since you'd get the reverse on a pretty weak sound on 00:43:042 - instead of a clickable slider head. Something more passive would be better for a faint sound like this
  • 01:01:367 (3,4,5,6,7) - A more clean progression of spacing would fit well into other patterns you did on 00:12:987 (4,1,2,3,4) - and 01:25:451 (2,3,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1) -
  • 01:26:089 (1,1) - Would use a slider here, the random change in timing (btw fix timing I mentionned it earlier) would easily catch players off guard
  • That's all I'll touch on, nice diff overall


Good luck with the set!
User avatar
Combo Commander
327 posts
Offline
celerih wrote:

Image General


  • How about changing diff name here to something that isn't the translation of the title. Something like Drowning Emotions would be cool ok mr deep sea rain
  • You could use a better sample for the hitwhistle, use this one that I used in my own map for this song https://celerih.s-ul.eu/meCPPmUU there's not much of a difference between this and the default soft whistle
  • Also there's an unused bg in the song folder, or that the hard diff doesn't have it set for some reason, might want to fix that guya
  • 01:26:408 - Timing point here is late, your map needs to be perfectly timed, move it to 01:26:360 -battle



Image Normal

  • 00:08:168 (5) - NC here, combo gets a bit long afterwards combo's are usually this long anyways
  • 00:38:238 (4) - To make the pattern look cleaner move this up and reduce the curve of the slider osu
  • 00:43:042 (2) - To follow the piano better move this to start on 00:42:741 - and have it end at the same place as it did before. This way both piano and vocals are followed better animemapping.jpg
  • 01:07:958 - Would add a circle here since the all the other vocals in the kiai are followed except for this one shinkai shoujo mada mada shizumu
  • But I'd still make some more 1/1 gaps in this, rhythm is dense and should be made easier. It is lowest diff after all
  • 01:11:858 (7) - make into 2 circles at the start and end of the slider and reduce density downbeats are hate
  • 01:07:058 (3) - Same thing as above, could even make 01:07:658 - a 1/2 slider from here to cover vocals and circle on 01:07:058 - instead of slider i prefer the 1/1 for the vocals her
  • Nice normal, good job



Image Jennglebell's Hard

  • 00:08:168 (1,2) - Would reduce distance here in favor of higher distance for 00:08:778 (2,3) - since there's much stronger piano there
  • 00:24:769 (4,1,2) - Once again kinda backwards emphasis, 1 should get more spacing that 2 here
  • 00:27:141 (4) - Note here is overmapped, there's no sound to support it as there is a break in both piano and vocals
  • 00:42:741 (2,3,4) - Rhythm here could be improved upon since going for faint vocals over strong piano is confusing when playing. See box below for a suggestion
    Image
  • 00:59:274 (2,3,4) - Overmapped note on 00:59:840 (3) - makes rhythm here improvable, mostly making a 1/1 slider on 00:59:543 - . See box below
    Image
  • 01:02:852 (1) - Both vocals and piano hit on 01:03:155 - so shorten this by 1/4. It's a shame that the slider shape will have to be changed since it's really nice but the song just doesn't support it :/
  • 01:08:258 (1) - Another case of a slider being 1/4 too long. If the vocals aren't being extended and just last 1/2, extended sliders won't fit
  • Main problem here is rhythm and overmapping imo. Apart from that I really like how this map looks and the fun use of slider movement



Image Deep Sea Girl

  • 00:09:084 (3) - Such strong piano on a slider reverse isn't the best. circle + 1/2 slider would be a better rhythm here agre
  • 00:22:615 (1) - The very straight and "sharp" shape of the slider here clashes with the rest of the sliders as of yet, and there aren't any distinct sounds that really justify it it's matching the vocals, but i did a ctrl + g and adjusted the slider so it better follows it
  • 00:28:040 (2) - 00:37:639 (2) - Once again the reverses here could be make into something more appropriate, like 1/2 slider + circle gang GANG
  • 00:42:741 (2,3) - Here a reverse would actually work wonderfully, since you'd get the reverse on a pretty weak sound on 00:43:042 - instead of a clickable slider head. Something more passive would be better for a faint sound like this benis
  • 01:01:367 (3,4,5,6,7) - A more clean progression of spacing would fit well into other patterns you did on 00:12:987 (4,1,2,3,4) - and 01:25:451 (2,3,1,1,1,1,1,1,1,1) - i will attempt something
  • 01:26:089 (1,1) - Would use a slider here, the random change in timing (btw fix timing I mentionned it earlier) would easily catch players off guard meh i don't like to incorporate a slider into that because it's just a single sound
  • That's all I'll touch on, nice diff overall


Good luck with the set!

ty for modding
User avatar
Star Shooter
204 posts
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No kudosu yet.
celerih wrote:
Image General


Image Jennglebell's Hard

  • 00:08:168 (1,2) - Would reduce distance here in favor of higher distance for 00:08:778 (2,3) - since there's much stronger piano there +
  • 00:24:769 (4,1,2) - Once again kinda backwards emphasis, 1 should get more spacing that 2 here
  • 00:27:141 (4) - Note here is overmapped, there's no sound to support it as there is a break in both piano and vocals im not exactly a big fan of keaving gaps especially when theres none in the song, so i will remove it and extend 3 instead;
  • 00:42:741 (2,3,4) - Rhythm here could be improved upon since going for faint vocals over strong piano is confusing when playing. See box below for a suggestion went for something else to (maybe) follow the piano better
    Image
  • 00:59:274 (2,3,4) - Overmapped note on 00:59:840 (3) - makes rhythm here improvable, mostly making a 1/1 slider on 00:59:543 - . See box below opt for a reverse instead
    Image
  • 01:02:852 (1) - Both vocals and piano hit on 01:03:155 - so shorten this by 1/4. It's a shame that the slider shape will have to be changed since it's really nice but the song just doesn't support it :/ i did shorten it but i also raised sv by a bit in attempt to keep shape :sad:
  • 01:08:258 (1) - Another case of a slider being 1/4 too long. If the vocals aren't being extended and just last 1/2, extended sliders won't fit +
  • Main problem here is rhythm and overmapping imo. Apart from that I really like how this map looks and the fun use of slider movement

    osu crashed halfway so some things might be a little different




d
Code:
osu file format v14

[General]
AudioFilename: audio.mp3
AudioLeadIn: 0
PreviewTime: 62776
Countdown: 0
SampleSet: Soft
StackLeniency: 0.7
Mode: 0
LetterboxInBreaks: 0
WidescreenStoryboard: 1

[Editor]
Bookmarks: 13312,33438,53863
DistanceSpacing: 1.4
BeatDivisor: 4
GridSize: 16
TimelineZoom: 1

[Metadata]
Title:Shinkai Shoujo-piano ver.-
TitleUnicode:Shinkai Shoujo-piano ver.-
Artist:Erosion
ArtistUnicode:Erosion
Creator:osuskrub
Version:Jennglebells' Hard
Source:
Tags:deep sea girl 小五 hatsune miku vocaloid utaite xiao wu
BeatmapID:1410353
BeatmapSetID:652472

[Difficulty]
HPDrainRate:5
CircleSize:4
OverallDifficulty:5.5
ApproachRate:6.5
SliderMultiplier:1.4
SliderTickRate:1

[Events]
//Background and Video events
0,0,"annie mays.jpg",0,0
//Break Periods
//Storyboard Layer 0 (Background)
//Storyboard Layer 1 (Fail)
//Storyboard Layer 2 (Pass)
//Storyboard Layer 3 (Foreground)
//Storyboard Sound Samples

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299,235,66758,1,2,0:0:0:0:
356,309,67058,2,0,P|392:321|437:323,1,77.0000023498536,2|0,0:0|0:0,0:0:0:0:
492,235,67658,2,0,P|456:223|411:221,1,77.0000023498536,2|0,0:0|0:0,0:0:0:0:
393,124,68258,6,0,P|356:134|317:135,1,77.0000023498536,2|0,0:0|0:0,0:0:0:0:
227,164,68858,2,0,P|224:202|212:238,1,77.0000023498536,2|0,0:0|0:0,0:0:0:0:
84,204,69458,2,0,P|86:165|98:129,1,77.0000023498536,2|0,0:0|0:0,0:0:0:0:
180,82,70058,1,2,0:0:0:0:
227,164,70358,1,0,0:0:0:0:
307,113,70658,6,0,L|385:104,1,77.0000023498536,2|2,0:0|0:0,0:0:0:0:
465,209,71258,2,0,L|387:200,1,77.0000023498536,2|2,0:0|0:0,0:0:0:0:
318,254,71858,2,0,P|324:301|310:352,1,70,2|0,0:0|0:0,0:0:0:0:
198,366,72462,2,0,P|192:319|206:268,1,70,2|0,0:0|0:0,0:0:0:0:
241,222,73074,5,2,0:0:0:0:
318,254,73374,1,0,0:0:0:0:
383,196,73674,2,0,P|426:207|471:198,1,70,2|0,0:0|0:0,0:0:0:0:
383,104,74274,2,0,P|297:93|263:115,1,105,2|0,0:0|0:0,0:0:0:0:
263,133,74874,2,0,P|220:144|175:135,1,70,2|0,0:0|0:0,0:0:0:0:
115,92,75474,5,2,0:0:0:0:
43,168,75774,1,0,0:0:0:0:
96,258,76074,1,2,0:0:0:0:
198,235,76374,1,0,0:0:0:0:
286,179,76674,2,0,P|330:193|360:212,1,70,2|0,0:0|0:0,0:0:0:0:
402,281,77274,2,0,P|401:315|398:350,1,70,2|0,0:0|0:0,0:0:0:0:
319,384,77874,6,0,P|231:381|183:322,1,140,0|0,0:0|0:0,0:0:0:0:
154,270,78774,1,0,0:0:0:0:
240,221,79074,2,0,P|248:186|241:135,1,70,0|0,0:0|0:0,0:0:0:0:
172,90,79674,2,0,P|137:82|86:89,1,70,0|0,0:0|0:0,0:0:0:0:
36,169,80280,5,2,0:0:0:0:
106,260,80580,1,2,0:0:0:0:
193,211,80880,2,0,P|228:203|290:219,1,77.0000023498536,2|2,0:0|0:0,0:0:0:0:
337,287,81480,1,2,0:0:0:0:
425,224,81780,2,0,P|433:261|434:299,2,77.0000023498536,2|0|0,0:0|0:0|0:0,0:0:0:0:
364,159,82696,5,2,0:0:0:0:
403,69,82999,1,0,0:0:0:0:
330,0,83302,1,2,0:0:0:0:
242,57,83608,1,0,0:0:0:0:
266,148,83914,1,2,0:0:0:0:
191,198,84217,5,0,0:0:0:0:
119,116,84520,1,2,0:0:0:0:
71,271,84835,1,0,0:0:0:0:
38,179,85132,1,2,0:0:0:0:
256,192,85291,12,2,88515,0:0:0:0:
390,132,89462,6,0,L|340:127,1,35,2|2,0:0|0:0,0:0:0:0:
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Combo Commander
357 posts
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Earned 2 kudosu.
Normal
00:35:842 (7) - the spacing here is so neutral make it closer http://osu.ppy.sh/ss/9253005
00:37:939 (3,4) - placement of these 2 is so weird place them like this http://osu.ppy.sh/ss/9253023 or in other way
00:42:741 (2) - place it higher http://osu.ppy.sh/ss/9253027
00:53:863 (5) - weird this http://osu.ppy.sh/ss/9253030 would have been better
01:00:467 (1) - hmm ctrr + h and rotate this to http://osu.ppy.sh/ss/9253036
01:25:132 (5) - placing it like this feels unnatural move it here http://osu.ppy.sh/ss/9253041 or somewhere else


Hard
00:14:204 (5) - NC
00:17:807 (5) - prob same here but not sure
00:21:112 (6) - NC
00:40:637 (7) - ^
01:02:852 (1) - this slider is weird
01:11:858 (1) - NC


Sea Of Misery
00:05:727 (2,3) - why won't you place them like this? http://osu.ppy.sh/ss/9253089
00:28:040 (2) - isnt the same as previous slider ctr + c and ctr + shift +r previous one
00:46:048 (6) - place a little bit higher
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