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OT!News #7

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66
Topic Starter
johnmedina999

OT!News


Latest News From OT
May 16th - May 22nd





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Hello, and welcome to the seventh edition of OT News!






It's becoming rather stale with Flanster perpetually locking all the threads, as it is going to be the same
forecast almost every single time. I guess I can say that the superstorm evolved into the equivalent of
the great red spot on jupiter;


It's the same shit over and over again.


No thread is safe anymore.


Hide yo daughterfus, hide yo waifus and husbandos.



~abraker, OT climatologist






ーOT IᗪOᒪ GᖇOᑌᑭー


Based upon the wise quote of Honoka Kousaka Dean "Peppy" Herpes, "As long as we've got the determination,
we can do anything!", Comfy Slippers initiated a group solely to fulfill 1 of the 3 greatest things in life. Prerequisites
are only a functioning mic and a whole lot of willpower. It was also declared that there will be no one in charge,
equality being a heavy focus. So far as of 23 May, 8 members have signed up; the OT!idol group aims to reach the
ultimate goal of “capturing the hearts many through sheer kawaii and moe.”


Will you take on this journey? Join today!






2017-05-17: A monk named Allmynamestaken has built a temple for the repentance of sin. This monk is known to having been exiled from his old temple; he was found showing lust over 2-Dimensional underaged girls. His reputation darkened further when it was discovered that he was an identity thief, which caused his name to be taken from him as divine punishment, leaving him with the name “Allmynamestaken”. The sinful monk took on a journey to travel across the vast land of Vietnam on foot in hopes to enlighten himself and has returned with a change of heart. He constructed a temple to for anyone to repent their sins, including himself. The act of confessing one’s sin in this temple results in the confessed sin to be carved upon its wall, giving them a chance to be forgiven.





List of sinners and their sins to be forgiven.






2017-05-18: abraker made a comeback with his deep philosophical questions nobody really cares about. This particular time, he devised a question addressing the issue of whether torturing robots with Artificial Intelligence (AI) would be considered “OK”. After a series of underground discussions with worldwide mafias, abraker came to a conclusion which seemed to be the short run of this topic. However, OT’s notorious B1rd has once again proven to hold the uncommon belief and showed no mercy in arguing that it is ok to torture AIs. Eventually B1rd needed to forward his agenda, and so the free market was tossed into the argument bowl for a rather questionable nutritional meal for the brains of OT. What the topic holds next is anyone’s guess. (editors: we are betting on derail though.)





Deep philosophical questions of OT.






2017-05-18: MAniACK_Magee has returned with his friend, Kiibo-kun, who wishes to learn about OT. Kiibo-kun has came back after disappearing for several days and has decided to study the local customs and traditions. He was greeted politely by creatures that have been found lurking around recently, followed by abraker (known to be a human turing-tester)’s test of worthiness. The original, well-intended, and warming welcome was derailed and escalated into a major discussion about the imbecility of denizens. As if the derailing was not enough, the topic was hurled into another discussion about robot senses, showing Kiibo-kun truly, the way of OT.





The magnificent return of Kiibo-kun.



Several days later, it was discovered that Kiibo-kun’s engine had a malfunction after trying to cram too much information about OT and grinding multiple rounds of “truth and dares”. This caused a short circuit in his system which sent shockwaves of cancer across his body, ultimately resulting in his disappearance. It seems as if he was sent to the osu!hospital for the moment, however according to his vessel, the specifics of his illness remains unknown.





Kiibo-kun being rushed to the osu!hospital.






2017-05-18: The GladiOol Real Life Simulator has been released to the public and is currently in beta. The game, developed by GladiOol, was released this week. It is free and involves firing requests at a character as a challenge. A background story was provided about a person with dysthymia that has been living a dull life and decided to spice things up by completing requests made by others. Rules for the requests have not been declared except a limitation to travelling, although GladiOol has asked “to make requests with his best interest at heart” as he’d “rather not end up getting shanked in the back alley of a McDonalds.” So far the simulator has created a spaghetti that the developer deemed as “8/10 will eat again”.





GladiOol, the game developer, selling the game.






2017-05-20: The infamous trash poster kai99 tested her prototype new styled thread. Struggling to create a thread of any quality, kai99 desperately searched every corner of the world for sources and ideas to entertain the denizens of OT. In spite of the pressure surrounding her and countless failures marked upon her name, she has continued her quest until recently she found what she thought to be her best work: the accuracy challenge thread. The accuracy challenge thread involves a proposed challenge which asks denizens of OT to obtain a specific accuracy of numbers up to an accuracy of two decimal places. The first accuracy objective was set at 69.69%. Denizens of OT took on the challenge and after several attempts they were able to carry out the task. Some of the tactics involved were rigorous effort of retrying and playing with different fingers than the main finger.





Prototype from kai99.






When Will it End?


A Comprehensive List of OTrends



The Fanclub trend was continued by abraker and Dyl-Byl. This overused trend still lives on, with
the creation of two fanclubs over the week. Flanster’s fan club was shut down by Flanster himself,
hinting the denizens to stop this shittrend that has been thriving for its life.


flanster fan club
I hate Windows fanclub


There has been another trend of making clubs for denizens of OT. It is unsure what the clubs are for or
what the members do, but a simple post on the thread allows the club leader to determine whether
you are fit or not for the club.


veteran off topic users club
Newbie Off-Topic Users Club


The trend of supposed satire has been continued lately by DJ Enetro, who has been posting another batch of satire
threads. Some have been locked and others survived, making it unclear whether all satire would be treated with
a lock or not.


levesterz Satire #1
DJ Enetro Satire #3


OT has been rather inquisitive lately, asking random questions, solely to quench its lust for knowledge.


Random Question
Random Question #2


It is rather becoming quite warm and fuzzy at OT. For the past few days, there has been a sudden influx of
“Dear denizen” threads addressing each other; it is unknown what the cause is, but experts speculate that
a phenomenon known as “truth or dare” seems to be the main cause of this trend.


Dear kai99 [2]
Dear Allmynamestaken
Dear abraker
Dear Flanster
<3 Papa Flanster




OT Denizens


Keep the Cancer Flowing



Welcome to OT!
We welcome you to OT with open arms!


aceII-
Spotted writing a shitthread, aceII- has made a rather lockful appearance with the thread titled “do u wanna do the shing shong bing bong”. As DJ Enetro anticipated, this thread was soon locked.


YttriumNecro
YttriumNecro has thrown a truly Random Question here at OT, asking whether a conversation with a girl signified anything of awe. The OT denizens responded with various replies, just to derail to a song posted by Meah.


Bonelius
Making a rather “rare” appearance, Bonelius has uploaded a youtube video of a taiko play. This thread was redirected to the youtube thread present and locked.



OT!News will always try to provide quality content. If you find any errors or have a suggestion, please leave a post below or feel free to PM / highlight us either through the osu! site or our Discord.


See you next week!


Credits:
We would like to take this opportunity to thank kai99 and Blitzfrog for giving us so much cancer that we needed to bleach our eyes, abraker for tidying the cancer, johnmedina999 for grammar nazi-ing, and a collaborative effort to make the cancer look nice. We also would like to give special thanks to everyone in the official Discord server for giving us the support needed not to shoot ourselves. Until next time!


Thank you, good night, and remember to...


DJ Enetro
FIRST
ColdTooth
And I'm still gay
Topic Starter
johnmedina999

DJ Enetro wrote:

FIRST
Technically I was first, you know.
DJ Enetro

johnmedina999 wrote:

DJ Enetro wrote:

FIRST
Technically I was first, you know.
Ye but I was still first after the news post
kai99
sorry kids this aint youtube comments section
Tae
zero mentions see u next week
B1rd
If you think that I needed to "forward my agenda" that just goes to show that you didn't understand my argument or the philosophy behind it. Of course when the topic has to do with buying and selling private property the free market will come into it, that's what the free market is. Considering that it's been established that the AI doesn't have a "conscience" (I think abraker meant consciousness), that would mean the mere act of "torturing" it has no more moral implications than torturing a toaster. That means the discussion then comes to be about the morality of using your property within society in which it has an effect on other people, which is deep in the realm of practical political and economic philosophy, which is something that I'm interested in.
Topic Starter
johnmedina999

B1rd wrote:

If you think that I needed to "forward my agenda" that just goes to show that you didn't understand my argument or the philosophy behind it.
Of course we did. We just decided to test how far we could push you until you said something :^)

Nice to know you're reading the news, though.
Flanster

ColdTooth wrote:

And I'm still gay
And always will be.
B1rd
Depends who it is. I don't take on provocations that aren't in good faith.
Foxtrot

johnmedina999 wrote:

Of course we did. We just decided to test how far we could push you until you said something :^)
nice ethics
Comfy Slippers
FUCK YEA
worst fl player

Flanster wrote:

ColdTooth wrote:

And I'm still gay
And always will be.
Luqanted
add the first dear trend

t/595203?hilit=+kai99
Blitzfrog
Hi, I'm News
Tae

Blitzfrog wrote:

Hi, I'm News
just wait until you get silenced again

we should start preparing your obituary for the next edition.
Razzy

Blitzfrog wrote:

Hi, I'm News
kai99
im always wondering but why does trump have white patches around his eyes? looks like an inverted panda imo
Blitzfrog
So pandas are already endangered and you taint their name
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