forum

How to roast Blitzfrog ft. abraker

posted
Total Posts
48
Topic Starter
abraker
So you want to know how roast a frog? But not just any frog, a Blitzfrog! Well you've come to the right place. Here at Diabolical Flaming Edgy Roasts Inc., we have professionals which are going to tell you the secrets of roasting the very one Blitzfrog.

A warning of disclaimer: Any frogs or toads shall not attempt this as our insurance policy does not cover self targeted roastings.

Now to the cooked meat!

Step 1: Fish for the frog
Ok, we can't roast if we don't have a Blitzfrog to roast. So you need to catch it. How to catch it you ask? Well it's not so simple. Patience is the key. A wild Blitzfrog takes time to appear in a thread and may very well take up to 5 minutes for one to appear. For accelerated effect, we recommend putting this species name in the title of you post.

Step 2: Interpret the situation
So Blitzfrog has posted, now he is open for roasting. You start typin- NOT SO FAST! Whatever you were about to type, forget it. Forget everything you learned in school. That doesn't apply here. This is Blitzfrog level roasting we are talking about. The requires delicate skill and effort. Let's take one of his posts to see what we can learn of this strange creature.

Blitzfrog wrote:

My computer has schizophrenia. It keeps playing Allmynameistaken's fanfics live
This is an actual comment made by an actual Blitzfrog. So now need to figure out the angle the roast should come from. "My computer has schizophrenia". Ok let's start with that. Schizophrenia means that the patient doesn't know what is real. Next part says "It keeps playing Allmynameistaken's fanfics live". Now the key here is to know the inside meaning behind these kind of things. If you don't know what it's spewing about, then you are as lost as the Blitzfrog and that means I got a roast lined up for you ready to be fired. So in this instance, Allmynameistaken's fanfic is an atrocity that came from the newly made osu!News discord, which can be found here, that involves raping and a mingle between Stefan, kai and Blitzfog.

Step 3: Know your opponent
Blitzfrog likes to shitpost. ALOT. He won bingo twice only to epicly loose to over shitposting for a reason. He also has this "deez nutz on your chin" thing which he pushes around too often for comfort. In fact, it's almost as if he is mental with that line. Hmmm, I think this goes well with the schizophrenic laptop, don't you think? I think we have this wrapped up and ready to be shipped!

Step 4: Roast Engineering
Now that we have the chess pieces, we need setup the board. We have a computer that doesn't know what's real, and an illegally lewd mingle between Stefan, kai and Blitzfog. We have that he posts too much and that he over pushes "deez nutz on you chin". Now the key here is to come up with something that is funny, innocent, and offensive at the same time. Time to combine them all into one wonderful sauce:

Blitzforg's posts make me worried that he is schizophrenic who's "deez nutz on the chin" is a mild hallucination he had as a child
Step 5: Wait for it
Well now we are done! We successfully laid the trap and it's a matter of time before a wild Blitzfrog appears. Actually that roast is not as badly of a roast as you think. Blitzfrog can recover from that one. We need a better roast, something that puts a nail in the coffin. Something like... this thread. Yes! This entire thread is roast, a roast of how easy it is to roast Blitzfrog. Until now you did not know it, Blitzfrog, but you are so easy to roast that you are the joke of this thread! Blitzfrog the Roastfrog!

Aaaand now we are done! Enjoy your tender roasted, nuclear cooked frog!
Qiyana
who?
KatouMegumi
Abraker. I like your nickname. Kappa
Blitzfrog
WHY ABRAKER
WHY
roshan117
roast me daddy
Blitzfrog

abraker wrote:

epicly loose
johnmedina999
That advertisement tho
Topic Starter
abraker

Blitzfrog wrote:

abraker wrote:

epicly loose
At least my spellcheck is not as bad as your horrible spelling in "deez nutz"

Blitzfrog
It's not spelling, it's loose
Topic Starter
abraker

Blitzfrog wrote:

It's not spelling, it's loose
You grammar nazi as well as B1rd. I'm sure you two will make a great couple!
DJ Enetro

abraker wrote:

You grammar nazi as well as B1rd. I'm sure you two will make a great couple!


You preaching priest, you might as well brag about you winning the Maple Cup as an American!

Roast #1 -> abraker
Mara
DJ Enetro
Mara who were you talking to?
Comfy Slippers
dont bully
Rwyta

Comfy Slippers wrote:

dont bully
Kill yourself.
Meah
BLITZFROG FED 10 DEATHS IN 20 MINUTES TY
levesterz

Meah wrote:

BLITZFROG FED 10 DEATHS IN 20 MINUTES TY
kai99
AHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHHAHHHHHH
Tae
thank you I found this guide very helpful!
Blitzfrog

Meah wrote:

BLITZFROG FED 10 DEATHS IN 20 MINUTES TY

levesterz wrote:

Meah wrote:

BLITZFROG FED 10 DEATHS IN 20 MINUTES TY

kai99 wrote:

AHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHHAHHHHHH

Tae wrote:

thank you I found this guide very helpful!

Loving the support
Thanks guys!!
show more
Please sign in to reply.

New reply