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OT!News #2

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johnmedina999
As the very first topic in OT that took collaborative effort and quality,
OT!News #1 has been pinned as of 13 April.
Thank you for the feedback and support!


Our thread valhalla’d.

OT!News


Latest News From OT





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Hello, and welcome to the second edition of OT News!


Today is Tuesday, the 18th of April. Wonderful day we are having today, don't you say?

But do plan your shitposts ahead because there is a 30% chance that thread flooding will occur this week. If you want to create a shitty thread, this week would not likely be a good time. As the moderating depression system is sweeping across the edges of OT, there is a 5% chance of threads being locked and a higher chance of them being sent to the wasteland.

There has been a recent spike in mods visiting this forum, and it is speculated that there is a 2.5%
higher chance of spotting mods in the wild terrains of OT.

Now onto the news report.




2017-04-15: Ephemeral the king has returned to OT
After two long, agonizing months, several shit trends, a few OT breaking floods, a small number of silence shots here and there, the king of OT, Lord Farquaad, has stepped back into his dominion to take a peek at how things are turning about. It appears that he has been busy elsewhere taking care of some wild business after giving up on OT.

Does he have hope for OT given the potential quality soon to come, or is this a one-off thing for the next foreseeable future?



Lord Farquaad takes a peek.




2017-04-12: An OT denizen, Fourth gathered his dark powers to summon the demonic force. This ritual was rather dangerous and had to be precisely performed to work. Many suspect that by timing the chant exactly after the 6665th thread, the 6666th thread led to the summoning of The Great Lord Farquaad three days later. With such a powerful summon, it comes at a great cost; the full summoning requires Fourth to sell his soul to the great Satan of OT (Who shall not be named) for the next 60k threads as compensation.


The satanic ritual taking place.




2017-04-13 : OT has erected a new marketplace! Available to all OT denizens.

The first store, known as the OT Market, had put the Citizens of OT up for sale. Although this is definitely not a form of human trafficking and perfectly legal, one might think, “Could I buy myself as well?”. The store only takes credit card information for payment, and within the first few days of opening there has been an offer made by a customer named levesterz to purchase everyone on the list. The transaction was accepted and now the question arises: Will the products ship?

We may never know.


Definitely not a form of human trafficking.


The second store that opened was the Off-Store which presents a wider variety of items instead of OT denizens. The store “was founded in 2012 after selling products to friendok”. Items listed vary from potatoes, avatars, and machineries, to several weapons.

Payments can be done either with cash, PayPal, or Coca-Cola, offering breathing room to those desperate for the purchase; yet, there has not been a successful payment as of 16 April. abraker’s offer was nearly accepted, but declined as it was lacking 21 bottles of coke. The declined bottles of coke were left out abandoned by both Mara and abraker, which Flanster stole some later on in order to quench some thirst.

The support for the store is known to be non-existent, but can still be found. Mara instructed that, “While Off-Store's support is never there when it is needed, it is not recommended to leave the support server if you are looking for support.”

Products will arrive 48 hours from the transaction, but it is unknown what the product could be. Even Mara, the owner of the store, is unsure of which products could arrive on your doorstep. What a pleasant surprise!



The Off-Store, with products on display.




2017-04-14: DJ Enetro has challenged citizens of OT to yet another round of his rap battles. johnmedina999 took on this challenge and attacked DJ Enetro with a witty rap, which was soon followed by Hobbes2 who spiced things up by changing the genre. Blitzfrog joined this bloodfest with an aggressive stab at DJ Enetro; but DJ Enetro did not tolerate this and unleashed a comeback rap defending himself against all 3 competitors. The judge of this bloody rap battle, Meah, soon declared johnmedina999 as the official winner. Yet, this did not stop the fire from spreading. The rappers wanted to release their masterpieces to the world, and so the battle continued, preventing the thread from derailing in the process. This battle, which is unquestionably the most fierce rap battle in the history of OT, continued on 15 April when ColdTooth made a debut to join the forces. Comfy Slippers soon interjected the thread with yet another rap.


Open arms.




2017-04-14: Taiga began on a brave journey to take over OT. What started as a bluff turned into a complete takeover to make it to OT!News as the entire posting history was filled with nothing but “[Taiga] posted X minutes ago”. This “Occupy OT” movement of the first page took an effort of twenty minutes- but it didn’t stop there.


Shitposter [Taiga] committing an illegal act, aka The Journey of the Pony.


Full Page Screenshots

Page 1.



Page 2.



Page 3 Part 1.



Page 3 Part 2.

After an hour, this cancerous beast invaded the second page and went on an attempt to hit the third page. Following the endless adventures and countless battles, he managed to barely reach the top just to fail miserably at the end. Witnesses reported that he was shot down and brutally murdered by two elite soldiers of the GMT special ops.


[Taiga]’s corpse lying on the ground.


Soon enough, another blind follower of this trend attempted to dominate OT. His endeavour came to a stop after just a few posts, as the unfortunate timing of his appearance clashed with the presence of the GMT soldiers, leading him to become another victim of the shooting.


Blitzfrog’s corpse next to [Taiga]’s.


While the commotion quickly came to an end with two casualties and all evidence of the “Occupy OT” being purged by the two unidentified elite soldiers, another imbecile decided to follow in the footsteps of the pair in an attempt to become the next great-and-holy. This resulted in yet another public execution to prevent OT from developing a tumor.


kai99, a sad casualty of this incident.


This tragic event saw its final member, Meah, who claimed to be immune to silences. Initially as a surprise, it appeared he was truly immune as his dominance was left unrestricted for two full hours. However, even the immunity could not stop the execution; the troops executed the final participant in order to restore the peace of the OT realm.


Meah putting on a bulletproof vest.

Full Page Screenshot

Meah relentlessly spamming the front page.


The last victim.




2017-04-16: abraker, who is known to criticize osu! for its combo based scoring, has hatched a new plan for the game’s scoring system. His plan involves new scoring values, assisted scoring, buying scores, and… the devil? We are sure that he knows what he is doing, but this raises a few eyebrows. Ok, maybe even he is completely clueless as to what he even wrote.



Despite the intense constructive criticism the request has been getting, Stefan has validated the request and marked it as assigned. So expect this feature to be added soon. Maybe as soon as Half-Life 3 in any case.


First thread to get assigned in OT!



When Will it End?


A Comprehensive List of OTrends


2017-04-11: The good ol’ITT2 has been suffering with the trend of writing a wall of text. Digressing from the original intent of this thread, “We post shit that is neither funny nor interesting”, the thread has turned into an intense debate between Foxtrot, B1rd, DaddyCoolVipper, Railey2 and Aurani with massive replies decorating the thread walls. Other OT denizens, Mahogany, Comfy Slippers, Blitzfrog joined this trend, hurling the thread into eternal disaster. This trend showed a decline over a day, seemingly transitioning into memes until the trend regained its consciousness on 14 April.

2017-04-11: Blitzfrog continues with the list trend, which started 4 months ago with this thread and was escalated by abraker’s continuation of this thread.

2017-04-12: Yuudachi-kun has expressed his discomfort, being fed up with reading walls upon walls of text in ITT2. He decided to beg the mods on his corn cob and popcorn for a title change. Despite his extremely compelling and convincing argument, the mods tyrannically denied his request, not giving any specific responses to the thread while the it derailed into utter darkness.

2017-04-12 : bwoah. What could this word mean?
In a thread named RAVE TIME written by the great Inanimate Insanity Dr. Sentencings, Flanster has started a trend of saying “bwoah”.



Bwoah.


While the phrase “bwoah” serves no solid meaning, it is speculated that this spamming of “bwoah” is an evil plan of Flanster to take over OT and brainwash the minds and souls of OT denizens. The bwoah trend has been followed with a few threads addressing the rapid spread of bwoah which have been met with further bwoahs.


Bwoah is the new ‘Hello’ now.


2017-04-15: OT went completely hypothetical this week by asking some very deep questions. This influx of questions originally started when Blitzfrog asked the Life’s Biggest Question.


:thinking:


This trend has spiraled into the questioning of the very reality of OT. From “What if OT was employed” to “What if OT died tomorrow”?
Although it is fun to think about these mysterious questions, they may remain forever unanswered.





What if...



OT Denizens


Keep the Cancer Flowing


2017-04-12 [ - Zekks - ] has returned from a week of void. It seems as if he was fed up with all the art requests he was getting, and went off OT for a week to regain his mental sanity. However, it is unsure whether one week was enough for him to refresh his mind as his first thread back was titled “xd”, followed up with a post about aspire maps having broken sliders.

2017-04-14: MAniACK_Magee is back, but this time with more Harukawa-san reaction images than Amami-kun reaction images. OT citizens have greeted his comeback with such enthusiasm that some have gone insane, others showing excitement towards his presence. He has also created a Maki Harukawa-san AMA(?) to ease his way back into the forums.

2017-04-16: ColdTooth seems to have flickered in and out of OT over the few past weeks. He abruptly appeared in the FFA Rap Battle, reviving the hype to the thread and indicating that the battle resume. Otherwise, he has been spotted in numerous threads, asserting his sexuality to the open public.

Welcome back, everyone!



Thank you for the overwhelming support and feedback for OT!News! There has been lots of things going on OT for the past week, and we are sure to bring you with more news. Make sure to check in for the next edition!

OT!News will always try to provide quality content. If you find any errors or have a suggestion, please leave a post below or feel free to PM / highlight us either through the osu! site or our Discord.

See you next week!

Credits:
We would like to take this opportunity to thank kai99 and Blitzfrog for giving us so much cancer that we needed to bleach our eyes, abraker for tidying the cancer, johnmedina999 for grammar nazi-ing, and a collaborative effort to make the cancer look nice. We also would like to give special thanks to everyone in the official Discord server for giving us the support needed not to shoot ourselves. Until next time!

Thank you, good night, and remember to...

ColdTooth
I'm still gay
Meah
Time to sacrifice myself once again to get featured.
:thinking:
hmmmmmmmm.
Stefan
^ whata fag
Zekks

Stefan wrote:

^ whata fag
Flanster
bwoah
B1rd
2017-04-11: The good ol’ITT2 has been suffering with the trend of writing a wall of text. Digressing from the original intent of this thread, “We post shit that is neither funny nor interesting”, the thread has turned into an intense debate between Foxtrot, B1rd, DaddyCoolVipper, Railey2 and Aurani with massive replies decorating the thread walls. Other OT denizens, Mahogany, Comfy Slippers, Blitzfrog joined this trend, hurling the thread into eternal disaster. This trend showed a decline over a day, seemingly transitioning into memes until the trend regained its consciousness on 14 April.
Like someone who's been here for six months would know what it's about. It's for whatever. Political debates are 100x more entertaining that the usual shitposting that goes on. Sue me.
Meah
I was expecting Flanster to post "bwoah" first ! Was disappointed
Flanster

Meah wrote:

I was expecting Flanster to post "bwoah" first ! Was disappointed
just came back from work and saw the discord notif
Meah
Not speedy enough that's why you lose on f1 races. XD
-Makishima S-
Good meme ;]
Meah
Actually, it took 4-5 hours before I got silenced. Mods where having hard time whether they should delete my quality content or not :D
DJ Enetro
Lol, "immune to silences?" How about no
Flanster

Meah wrote:

Not speedy enough that's why you lose on f1 races. XD
DJ Enetro
Why the Santander guy
Flanster

DJ Enetro wrote:

Why the Santander guy
hes the bwoah man himself.
Edgar_Figaro
Love this.

Better than the OsuWeekly 10/10
kai99
Topic Starter
johnmedina999
maek shur to leik an subsrib to get teh updaets b4 aniwon els!!1!!11
Tae
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