[Secretary:] Guys, Michael Bolton is here
[The Lonely Island:] Oh Great, send him in.
[Michael Bolton:] Hey guys.
[The Lonely Island:] Hey, hi, thanks for coming
[Michael Bolton:]
Sorry I'm late, I got caught up watching a Pirates of the Caribbean marathon. Have you seen those things?
[The Lonely Island:] Oh yeah, yeah, those are, those are great.
[Michael Bolton:]
Well, I checked out the track and I loved it. And I wrote you this big sexy hook I think you're gonna really dig.
[The Lonely Island:]
Oh wow that's great, awesome. Should we just lay it down?
[Michael Bolton:] Boys, let's get to it.
(Here we go.)
Ungh, Lonely Island, Michael Bolton
{Yeaaahh!}
(The night starts now)
Together on the track, the boys are back
(The night starts now)
Night starts now baby roll with us, chicks are snapping at the neck when we rollin' up.
{Rollin' up}
Blow through the doors ain't no holdin' up
{Yeah}
Black card at the bar like I gives a fuck.
{Come on}
Ladies shifty eyed when we walk into the set, fuck the fellas looking jealous play the back and get wet
{Yeah yeah}
Three pound in my waist, shank in my sock, you either get cut, get stuffed or get shot.
{This is the tale of captain Jack Sparrow, pirate so brave on the seven seas}
What?
{A mystical quest to the Isle of Tortuga, raven locks sway on the ocean's breeze}
Yeah that was kinda weird, but we're back in the club
Buying up the bar so the groupies show us love
{Kiera Knightley}
Motherfucking ice-man, I'm the top gunner
Heater on blast, I'm the number one stunner
{Jack Sparrow}
Watch it girl cause I ain't your "Mr. Nice Guy",
More like the "meet ya take you home and fuck you twice guy"
{Yeah Yeah!}
All dressed up with nowhere to run,
And now I make you feel crazy with the-
{Now back to the good part
From the day he was born, he yearned for adventure}
(No!)
{Old captain Jack giving them what for.
He's the pauper of the surf}
(Uh huh)
{The Jester of Tortuga}
(Oh God)
{But in Davy Jones' locker what lies in store?}
(Yeah, we've seen the movie)
Put your hands in the air and say hell yeah, come on
{Captain Jack}
What?
{Johnny Depp}
No
From the front to the back say we count stacks come on
{Davy Jones}
Nope
{Giant Squid}
Wrong
Michael Bolton we're really gonna need you to focus up
{Roger that let me try it with another film}
Wait-
{Life is a box of chocolates and my name is Forrest Gump}
(Not better)
{Though I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed, I give jenny all my love}
(Come on!)
{Ok then I'm a legal aid, Erin Brockovich is my name}
(Nooo, God)
{Then you can call me scarface, snortin' mountains of cocaine}
(Close enough)
{You cockroaches wanna play rough? Okay, I'm reloaded}
{This is the tale of Tony Montana}
(This is the tale)
{Cubano flame, with the Miami nuts}
(Take it home!)
{Got a basehead wife, but her womb is polluted this whole town's a pussy, just waiting to get fucked! (Just waiting to get fucked!)}
Ooookay, turns out Michael Bolton is a major cinephile
{You complete me!}
(Yup, yeah, ok...?)